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Loving someone I can't have
I am in love with this boy. Lets call him A. He is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. When I see him I just want to wrap him up and keep him safe and make sure no one can ever harm him. That sounds strange, I know, but its how I feel. He means more to me than anyone whos ever meant anything to me.
When I met him, it felt like we had this really strong connection. Chemistry, you could call it. He felt it too, I could tell. We would make eye contact when no one else was looking, it was as if we had this secret understanding.
I was happy all the time, because for once in my life, it seemed like someone liked me back. And I just wanted to get to know A and take it slow, cause I really thought we might end up together. It was the best feeling I'd ever had.
But then he got a girlfriend. He said he was in love with her. Loving something you can't have; story of my life.
All the hope and happiness I had felt just disappeared, I couldn't believe that it was happening to me again to be honest. I thought, is this what life is going to be like for me? Is this how it's meant to be? Always falling in love and not being able to be with that person. It'd happened before.
And now, it's been a little over a month since he got a girlfriend, and I still feel like we have a connection. Every day I fall for him even more, and I know it's going to happen again. I am going to get depressed. I can feel it, talking to people seems like too much of an effort, I can't concentrate on anything because he's the only thing on my mind, life seems pointless at the moment. I just feel this overwhelming sense of dispair. And I don't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure he still likes me, but he doesn't love me, like he loves his girlfriend, and I know that there is definitely no chance of me being with him unless they split up. He wont ditch her for me. I know that.
It probably seems like I havn't asked you any questions here, well, I havn't, so this is what I'd really like you to answer:
* How can I stop myself from getting depressed?
* What should I do concerning A? I can't just give up on him. Should I just wait until him and his girlfriend have split up?
*Does anyone else have this problem? Is anyone else always falling into this trap of loving something you cant have? If you are then please talk to me about it. I'd really appreciate knowing I'm not the only one who always seems to have this problem.
Sorry it was long, thanks in advance, xxx
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hi,
i'm in the same situation as you are now, but in my situation until now we still have a relationship. i know it's not right but is loving wrong?he has a long time girlfriend, and we're 1 year now, it is really hard,yes. im very depressed that i even attempted suicide, but you know one thing i've learned? loving without expecting anything in return. being contented, at first it was very hard because i demanded for everything...but i realized it doesnt work like that, i changed my attitude, i don't demand, that's when the time he's giving more effort in our so called relationship. i don't expect anything in return, thats when the time i feel happy everytime he surprise me with sweet gesture and affection..i also tell it to my self that "i just can't give him up" i can't control my feelings either. i don't even know how long our relationship will last, but one thing is for sure, if ever we part ways, i know that i have express all my love to him and i have given my very best in the relationship... good thing is, i'm gonna cherish every moment that we spend together for the rest of my life. and im not closing my doors to him...if we really are meant for each other no matter how old we are if we meet again, i still gonna love him like how i love him today..." you doesn't need to be with him to express your love.. remember also love will find a way..
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The same exact thing is happening to me right now, just a little bit differently. I like a guy who is now in a relationship with this girl that is only going out with him because of his car money and because he so hooked on her. She doesn't care about him like I do. Anyways I think you should confront him. I did and he said that when he splits with this girl I am his forever because he admitted that once he did feel we were the ones for each other, but now he just thinks he's in love with other chick. Oh and the best part is that I am pregnant but he doesn't believe me. I say confront your feelling to him and tell him everything. That would be the best thing to do. Peace
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i got that 2 months ago :/ there was this girl who i loved to shit and she allready had a bf >_< so i was kicking myself for ever trying o get over her trust me it never works trying to make yourself forget or stop, its like a virus you cant stop it or cure it you just gotta let it run its course and hope nothing wrong hapens
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Happens to us all and it's happen to me a lot of times, it really does suck. :[
To stop yourself getting depressed you need to start focusing on other things. At the moment, from reading that, you seem to be borderlining on infatuation which can't be very healthy for you. As I said it's happen to me before too but all you can really do is just accent things and move on and not let it take over you becuase that's really not going you any favour.
As for what to do about him, as I said above you DO need to move on because it's unfair on you to hang about waiting on something that may never happen. Also, if at some point he does break up with her there's no guarantee that he will just immediately want you, things just don't work that way I'm afraid. Also, if he did want you straight away then I'd be cautious as to whether it's because he feels the same or if it's a rebound. You can't change how you feel about him and I won't ask you to because that just doesn't happen, no one can change how they feel about someone. But you do need to move on and get on with your life too. I know it may not seem like it but trust me there are alot of guys out there and although many are jerks there are a good load of decent guys out there. However, if you keep your back on them waiting for A you'll miss your chance with them too.
I've had this problem a good number of times usually because I like someone and I think they may like me but I don't do anything right away in fear of messing things up or me being wrong. The one time a little while back I did admit it to someone (being quite drunk at the time too, lol) I thought afterwards it may have been a mistake because she didn't feel the same way even though I felt sure she may feel atleast something. I dunno, relationships and love and such is all just complicated - it never goes as you want it to. Only thing you can do though is just hang in there and keep going forward. :]
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