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depression
13/f. I think I am depressed and its not helping that everything is overwhelming me and stressing me out. Also I'm going to say before hand that I know most the things on here don't sound like a big deal but keep this in mind; I'm a person who gets stressed out at the most littlest things. So please, please understand that I'm having trouble here.
1. I am super stressed. nervous, and scared about going to high school for the first year. Most my friends are excited but I'm not. I'm rather shy, so its hard to make friends. And I've been working my butt since 7th grade, to get the social life I have now in 8th grade, which is practically no where. I have friends, but only 2 of them we actually make plans with each other and stuff. I am scared that I will not be able to make friends in school next year. I am terrified to the point where I will just start randomly crying from thinking about it.
2. We have to do this thing for our foreign language classes as part of the end of the year exam, where you leave the middle of class to go to your language teacher and you have to have I believe 4 conversations in the language you take with them. Well, you were also supposed to go to a few practice sessions which counted as a grade. I didn't go to any because I just kept putting it off and before I knew it I couldn't. I am pretty good at the forein language class. I went down and she asked why I didn't go to any and I told her the same thing I told you, that I was putting it off. And I apologized and stuff. Lucky for me she was SUPER nice about it. She did not get mad or anything. She just told me to go to a practice session Friday (today) and stay after another day to do the talking thing with her. I wanted to just get the talking thing over with, and I understand 100% that I put myself in this situation and that it's my fault I didn't go to practice things. Well, I was soo stressed about the practice session that I begged my mom not to make me go to school today. She let me stay home.
3. We got back interms and I'm failing a ton of classes. My grandma passed away in late April and I missed a few days of school to go out of state for her funeral and I was so stressed about the work I missed that I failed a test I missed (that I was making up later) and didn't get some assignments she never gave me but I didn't ever know about them. I'm failing 2 classes, not doing so well in 2 other classes, and doing good in the last 2 classes. My mom is not mad at me but she wants me to work harder to raise them up but I'm very stressed out. I do not want to go to summer school which is manatory if you fail at least 2 classes which I am right now so I NEED to get my grades back up.
4. My dance recitals on Sunday and I've been working, so, so, hard to get the dances down. I've got one down but the other there are a few parts I just can't get no matter how many times I practice it and people are explaining it, I forget it within a minute! I'm working SOO hard in dance but I'm so scared to mess up on stage infront of hundreds of people. Also at the parts I can't get, I look at the people around me but it's hard to keep up with them.
5. I have been lazy lately. Not feeling really up to what I usually like to do. And I know thats a sign of depression. I also know loss of appetite or gaining appetite is. I eat a lot of junk when I get home from school. ALOT. And I'm skinny not fat or anything and I think I'm pretty so I dont have NO self-esteem or anything. But I'm scared I'll get fat but I just can't get myself to put the junk down and eat healthier things. I'd never ever let my self go anorexic or bulimic though.
6. My homework is overwhelming. I put little effort into it too. I know its my fault. I don't care how much you say everything going on here is my fault because I know it is, that I'm the one that got myself here and put myself in this situation. I just can't handle it all. Please help me. What should I do, how do I fix it?!
-Confused
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okay well im super stressed about high school also, i think most people are just some put a brave face on better than others, i don't think oyur depressed i just think your stressed out about everything,you need to take a deep breath and organize everything,sit down with a paper and pen and write what you need to do like you foreign language thing, thats top of your list and each time you finish one cross it off and reward yourself like with something you like. you will become less stressed and you will feel a lot better
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I know you're nervous about entering highschool, it is a scary thing. I am in 10th grade now and I was nervous about starting lastyear too. But the thing you need to think about it, a lot of people are nervous about it so you are surely not alone. Secondly, highschool is a place where a lot of people come together. Now I don't know about your school but at my school there are about 700 people in each GRADE. It's a place and time in your life to make new friends, and you'll love it once you get used to it.
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma, maybe you should consider some after-school tutoring? Or ask your teachers if there is any extra credit work you can do. The good thing is you have your mom on your side, don't be afraid to ask her for help.
I know what it's like to be nervous about a dance recital, it happens to me everytime. When you have spare time just practice them if you can. Turn on some music and do them in your room or where ever you are. Go over the steps in your head, that always helps me.
Try to eat right from here on out, the end of the year is coming and school is about to end so it's hard to keep up with work.. but maybe right all your assignments down and do them RIGHT when you get home so you aren't putting them off the rest of the day. That usually saves some last minute scrambling
If you need anything else, you can ask. Hope I helped
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my first piece of advice is to talk to your mom about getting therapy. it could be depression, it could be something else. most likely, at 13, you won't need medication. therapy doesn't label you crazy. if you absolutely cannot bring yourself to do that, then talk to a friend you might have. however, being that you're about to leave 8th grade, some of your friends might be trying to sever ties that they'd made with you so be aware that if you get rejected it might be because your friends are just as confused and stressed out as you are about high school. you could even IM me if you need to. I've been through this kind of thing at least a dozen times. my screen-name is ooobunnies for AIM.
my second piece of advice is to figure out what needs to get done and make a list. concentrate on just the things you need to get by. it's rough to suddenly fail everything, but with this little time left in the year some things have to drop. talk to your teachers as well. a lot of your teachers will be understanding of the situation. it happens more often than you would think with kids going through transitions between elementary and middle and middle and high school and especially between high school and college. if you're going through it now, expect it to happen your senior year as well if you don't hit it now. you can get extensions and pull yourself up and not have to have summer school.
most importantly, know that you're not alone. it's a scary and confusing time, but you know inside that you can get through it. be honest with your family (which sounds like a major addition to the stress you already face). get professionals involved. you can pull together. you will pull together.
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