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i fucked up
okay,i'm a female and i'm 14 years old and i'm a muslim. I did something really really wrong, and i don't have a clue why i did it, but i just did. Last year, i was in this school where i used to flirt with guys and allow them to touch me and stuff , just to gain popularity. But soon, my mom found out and she made me go to this girl's only school. And there, somehow i thought that to make friends i should like make stories up to win their sympathy and have them beside me all the time. So i told practically half the school that i had sex so many times before, and that i had once even become pregnant and had an abortion, and that i still do all that shit. I even stole one of my best freind's boyfriends and used to have sex conversations with him on the phone(but that one is for real), But then i felt guilty and told her what i did with her boyfreind, and so now she hates me and so does everyone else. And everyone just thinks of me as a bitch. But the thing is that i feel so disgusted of myself and all that i faked and made up. And i am dying to tell all those who i lied to the truth. But then they'd just see me as a twisted freak who needs medical help, and i honestly think i do need help. I have no idea what to do. I am sick of all the shit and trouble and lying to my parents and people who could have been really good freinds to me. And i keep thinking about all this, but the only solution i come up with is to lock myself up at home where i'd be away from everyone and everything, because i don't trust myself anymore, and i keep getting all those fucked up thoughts, and i masterbute continuously and date any boy to talk about sex with him and to see his penis and touch it because that turns me on. Oh my god!!!! i am just so fucked up and i have no idea what the fuck am i to do. but i'm seriously considering telling all those people i lied to that i never really did all that shit i said and faked.
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oh dam sweety i know what your goin through...kind of.. ive told secrets to girls that i thought where my friends and theve used it against me...but i guess what you could do, and it would probably be easy or difficult at the same time, is right to those you lied to a long note or letter. Tell them about your mistakes, and that you were sorry, and you did it because you thought it would make you popular but you were wrong. make it something that you think might make them see the real you, okay.
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So you made a mistake or two? Everyone fucks up. It's a way of life & the only thing you can do -- accept it & learn from it. Forgive yourself & others but never forget. Mistakes are mistakes & you shouldn't let them get you down. EVERYONE makes them, it's alright! So don't discourage yourself.
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What you need to do however; is tell everyone the truth. Tell your parents the truth. Tell your old friends the truth, and tell them how sorry you are. If they don't wanna accept your apology or become your friends again, then you need to accept it & move on. You cannot make them be your friend & you cannot make them forgive you. Just give them a sincere apology, and respect & things should be fine.
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You don't need to lock yourself at home -- you just need to think before you speak. I mean, you obviously have been. But think of the truth, think of the positive! Don't try to make up stories to make yourself seem cooler because when people find out -- you're not so cool. Just be honest with everyone -- including yourself. Learn from your mistakes & accept the things you've done. There's nothing more you can do.
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well... to me it sounds like you don`t have respect for yourself. learn to respect yourself so that others could respect you. the lying situation... not good hun. FESS up. it`s the only way out of what you have done. and the ones that believe and forgive you for all your lying are the ones that will always be there for you and are your real friends. maybe you should take a break for awhile. summers coming up.... could you give yourself sometime to think. and not go out and have fun with friends. sometimes it does help to be alone. my mom tells me when i am under alot of stress and confusion, to read a book. and to tell you the truth, i`m the kind of popular, party, cheerleader that HATES to read. but taking her advice helps. be honest from this point. maybe this kind of problem has taught you that, lying will always catch up with you. the first step you need to take is apologize to your mom, cuz truley she is your best friend that will always be there for you through think or thin. then go, to all those that you have lied to and tell the truth :/
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