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there is this boy...
hey. ok 14/f. well, i met this guy at church a few weeks ago. i could tell from the second that i saw him he liked me. and after i talked to him for a little bit, i liked him, even though i didn't know him very well. well, he always kept flirting with me. and today he told my friend Tina that he liked me and was gonna ask me out. and after i got out of the bathroom, he asked me for my number. so like, 3 hours later he called me. and we just started talking, then he goes, "hey... do you wanna go out with me?". and i was like "i don't know.." cause i really don't know if i wanna go out with him. so i was just like "can i have a day to think about it?" and he just gets all pissed and is like "why do u need a day?" and i was just like "i don't know". by the way, i'm skipping a little bit of this, cause it is really long. so, we just started talking about all of this today and he keeps saying "baby, i love you" and stuff like that. he's also talking about kissing me, and how he wants to kiss me so much. and i just think it is all moving way to fast. but see, he's been in some trouble before. like, he used to smoke weed, and he got a girl pregnate (sp), but he doesn't do that stuff anymore. but also, there is a bit of an age difference. i'm 14 and he is 17. do you think he is to old for me? but tonight when he goes "i love you, you know that right?" and i was just like "yeah.." and he gets really pissed and says " you know what?f**** you, i've worked to hard in this relashonship, now its your turn" blah blah blah... i don't know what to do. i can understand he wants an anwser, but i need a day to think. what do u guys think i should do? do you think i should go for him, or tell him no? i really need help. i really like him, but i'm afraid he might break my heart. he told me that he is kinda scared to go out with me because he might "fall in love". like seriously, does he like me, or does he just like using lines from movies? haha, jk. anyways, help!!!! thanks a bunch!
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Well, from what you just said, it almost seems like he has an anger problem. He kept snapping at you and you just took it. You need to stand up for yourself tell him you need to think, to figure everything out, like the age difference for ex. If he is boyfriend material, he should be able to understand. You should just throw out little tests to see how he reacts. Also, by the sounds of it, he seems to be the jealous type. Plus, just because he says he no longer is the trouble kid, doesn't mean he's telling the truth. It's hard to stop that stuff, so he may just be playing you and try to do something with you, you may not be ready for and by that point it's pretty hard to stop an older man, because they're usually strong. One last thing is that he may get you into that stuff like drugs or may get you pregnant. Just watch out for yourself and keep an eye out for signs for those kinds of actions. Good luck and be careful of what you may get yourself into. =]
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It's a good thing that you are taking this seriously and not just throwing yourself carelessly into a relationship.
Honestly, I don't think he loves you. You're right, his lines seem to be too good to be true. I may be wrong but my gut feeling tells me that he has violent tendencies.
How can you say you love someone and then say f*** you a minute later? It makes no sense to me. It just sounds like pure impatience to me and I don't think he's looking for a serious relationship. And besides, love isn't calculative. It's just so wrong when he tells you that he's worked hard in this relationship and now it's your turn. What the hell?
Don't care bout the age gap. The thing is, he's 17 and yet he's behaving like a 13 year old. I don't think he loves you. I doubt he even knows what does love means.
I advise you not to go out with him.
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Not sure if they are lines from movies but I can tell you they are lines that are usually used by someone whos a player and is trying to get your trust quickly. :|
Harsh as it may seem I think this guy is trouble and you need to cut him loose. He knows you're young so you'd like hearing how he loves you would make you melt and want to do anything for him etc, etc. It's the same crap guys feel girls to get what they want. The fact he didn't like that you had wanted to think things through for starters was a hint of him trying to push you into makeing a quick decision. I don't think its more an issue about him being older I think it's just more what he is looking for which I think may not be the same thing you are looking for. He has only known you a little while and is already telling you he loves you? :/ Was that the same line he used on the girl he had got pregnant? This guy is not a relationship guy so if you're after a meaningful relationship you're very much looking in the wrong place. As for him changing, I'll believe that when I see it. Guys always say they'll change but it takes time for a guy to be able to change and even then it only happens if they really want it to.
I think all he's after is a physical relationship (if not just sex) hence how he seems obsessed about going on about it. The fact you're young maybe his way thinking that he can get what he wants more easily becuase you're going to be nieve. Oh, and as for that for, "you know what?f**** you, i've worked to hard in this relashonship, now its your turn." line. That's the most used and abused line ever in relationships when it comes to people like him. Usually the next thing the girl says is something along the lines of an apology and then what they can do to prove they do care or love them too. That's when the guy has his opening in trying to suggest something sexual (since you both ain't even going out yet though he may say to go out with him and all that jazz). He's using the same MO that a lot of guys like him use.
Oh, the whole being scared to go out with you incase he 'falls in love' - another load of rubbish. He was already telling you how he's totally in love with you and was the one who asked YOU out and got in a mood about it when you said you needed time to think about it. He's not keeping things consistant with his story or how he's supposedly making out he's feeling - I think he's just making a lot of this stuff up just to get what he wants. It seems he's just working around you poking, so to speak, till he finds a hole through your barrier you have up to protect yourself to make you crumble and fall for him to the point that you're hooked and can't resist him anymore (hence the whole I love you crap he's coming out with).
I'll say one thing, you've been really smart to keep your head on and think things through with your head about what's going on since a lot of girls usually do fall for the stuff he's come out with so I commend you on that. I think he's just after an easy target to satisfy his needs so you should move on and find someone better - or at least someone who's as nice as you are, I think you deserve that much. This guy just seems bad news but at the end of the day it will be your choice and decision. If you need any other help feel free to message and good luck. :]
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