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my bestfriend was abused by drugs and physically and i need
13. my bestfriend was abused im many ways. her mom was a drug addict. her mom gave her drugs through shots and made her smoke and used many different drugs on her. her and her 2 sisters. my friend stopped growing but got on so many medicines and started again this year. she has 2 skin diseases and extremely deep smokers cough. her mom left her alone in a different state when she was in kindergarten. later her mom went to jail. her and her sisters went to her aunts. all this happened when she was 4 till 10. shes now in depression and hides everything and all she does is screams yells and stares. she still cant get over it she had no idea it was bad. now shes paranoid of drugs or even smoking or alcohaul anything like that she was abused with. now were doing d.a.r.e to resist drugs its a daily year round thing. and she has to do it and she doesnt say a word the whole time or just actually cries she never crys. i feel so bad for her. she got a restraining order on her mom and her mom is in jail till the end. her mom also had mental problems/ alot of people are doing drugs and everything already and when she sees someone she tries to kill them or atleast punch them to the ground. she is normal other than depression and being paranoid of drugs and stuff. how do i get her to leave others alone SHE SHOULDNT TRY TO KILL PEOPLE. how do i stop her how do i help her a therepist didnt work. i fell soo bad for her ill do anything for her. she cant get over it i know itll be hard. i need help to help her. HOW!
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That's a horrible thing she had to go through. No human being should be allowed to go through all that shit. What I'll tell you now is that drugs are very addictive alone with smoking and alcohol.
I have a friend that is trying to get sober from drugs and alcohol and smoking. She was sexually abused by her dad as a child and she was raped by her neighbor once when she was eight. All I can tell you to do for her is to let her know that you're there for her and that you'll always be there to help her and listen to her in confidentiality. Let her know that you'll never judge her and that you always be grateful that she's your friend. Let her know that she's an important person to you and that it hurts you to see her like this. Tell her that you may not know shit about what she's going through but you know that you want her to be happy and safe. Make her a bracelet and tell her that whenever she has the urge to do something unhealthy, she should hold onto the bracelet and think of you and not harm herself.--if not for her, for you.
Although she may hate you for doing this, you should go to her guardian and talk to them about this. You can't handle this by yourself and you need an adult involved. Ask them to help her get a new therapist and what not. In the long run, I'm sure you'd rather have her alive than dead. It's better to lose a friendship than a friend.
If you want more help, go to this site: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good luck and best wishes for your friend and you.
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Oh wow. That's horrible. The most you can do, like someone below me had said, is let her know that you will be there for her through everything. It's sickening to think about what a horrible mother she had. Well, I think you may actually be able to make a little bit of a difference. If you talk to her, let her tell you anything and everything she wants to tell you. If she wants to scream at you and throw things, let her do it. If she wants to cry so hard she throws up, let her do it. However, don't let her hurt herself or make physical contact with another person in a negative way. Basically, sit her in a closed room, like a bedroom, and tell her she can talk to you. Let her get it all out, ALL OF IT. Maybe that will make her feel a bit better. After she does that, let her know that you love her, and her mother is never going to get her again, and she'll NEVER be forced to do something she doesn't want to again. Tell her that she's free, and she will be from now on. Her mother is locked up, and she won't be coming out.
Try to introduce her to some more of her friends, maybe give her a makeover or something [if you guys are into that]. Make her become more social, but ensure she's friends with the right people, if you know what I mean.
It's a really tough situation that your friend, and you, are in. Most of all be strong and if you believe in God, I suggest you pray for her. Remeber, even if she gives you some attitude or a hard time when you try to help her, ignore it. She's scared, just keep that in mind. Good Luck! Let me know how things turn out.
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What a horrible thing for your friend to have to go through. What a horrible thing for you to have to clean up after the adults in her life. Where was her father during all of this? Jeez. I have a kindergartener and I don't leave her alone in the house to go to the mailbox most of the time, much less to another state. I watch how much caffeine she gets. Your friend could desperately use a good surrogate mother. A surrogate is a stand-in who would take care of another mother's child.
What your friend is doing is taking out her mother's abuse and neglect on the drugs and applying her anger to the users of drugs and alcohol. She doesn't understand that the drugs and alcohol didn't make her mother do those things to her. They were the tool by which her mother abused her, but people every day use alcohol responsibly and arguments can be made that marajuana can be used responsibly. No matter where one stands on drugs, of course your friend cannot very well go around hurting others when they make bad choices.
I don't know what options you have except to take her to a school counselor if possible and push for her to go to a different therapist. The therapeutic relationship is difficult to get just right. There has to be a basis for common ground and trust. There are not going to be many people who can match your friend's experiences and know what she's feeling. Most of us can only imagine. That doesn't let her off the hook, however. She has to gain the knowledge that her mother *chose* to do what she did. Many people will take drugs. Very few of them will inject drugs into their young children. That was a choice she made. You may say she only made that choice because she was on drugs. That might excuse the first time, but I can tell you that at some point she probably knew she was hurting her children, but rather than ask for help, she lit up again and chose to put her need before her children's safety. As a mother, if I had ever hurt my child that way one time, I know I'd do whatever I had to do to make sure it didn't happen again. So it's not just the drugs your friend has to come to terms with. It's also the fact that her mother love drugs more than her children. It's that rejection that probably makes your friend so angry and depressed.
What you can do practically is push her toward professional counseling help and steer her away from situations where people might be doing things your friend can't handle; don't take her to any parties or let her be around the stoners, etc. Maybe she could convince a school administrator that she's seen enough of the bad effects of drugs and talking about it re-traumatizes her. She might be able to be excused to study in the library or something during d.a.r.e.. Maybe someday your friend will start to chill out when she realizes that an adult woman can have a glass of wine with dinner without becoming an abusive lunatic. Right now, she's so young to have to deal with the life she's lived. It's unthinkable. I wish I could help more.
Sabine
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That's really bad, putting someone so young through something like that doesn't bare thinking about. :[
The only thing you can really do I'm afraid is to be there for her and let her know you're there for her. These problems she has are very, very deep and I'm afraid that reaching them to try and resolve them may not be so simple or easy. She will need a lot of time to adjust and come to terms with things and just get her bearings back. There may not be a way to speed her recovery up but you can certainly help her by being there for her. I really hope she gets better though because it sounds really bad what she is going through and what you are going though seeing her in this way.
I'm sorry I cant really be much help but she may still need professional help, even though it seems to not help. It may be the best thing for her at the moment.
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