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Breaking up - please help
I have been in a relationship with my partner for just about four years. I recently moved to another city to study, while he stays in my old town until the end of the year.
I moved away because I felt that I needed some space and our relationship hasn't been meaning as much to me as it used to for some time now.
Recently I met someone very special who I have pretty much fallen head over heels for. They feel the same way and I'd really like to be with that person - and I really am not the kind of person to be impulsive or fall for people easily. I really mean it when I say there is a special connection between us.
So I need to break up with my boyfriend - I don't want to carry on our relationship, even if things don't go anywhere with the other person, because the fact that I am feeling the way I do means it's not fair on either of us for our relationship to continue. But how do I do it? I am so scared, because I know he still loves me very very much and I don't want to hurt him, I think he's a great guy and he has been my friend since we were kids, but I'm just not in love with him any more. This is a really difficult situation so I'd really appreciate some advice. Thanks :)
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Wow, I could not have come across a better (or worse...you know what I mean) story. I am in almost the exact same situation as you, but I must say, I am younger (most likely). I am 14 years old. But still, I think we may be able to help each other: I have a boyfriend of three years, but our love isn't going anywhere. In September he went to high school, and I to my last year of middle school. I met a great guy, though, in his second to last year of middle school, who I really, really like, and he likes me back. He always smiles and looks right into my eyes when we talk; its just so wonderful. Anyway, I didn't know how to break it to my boyfriend, and have been fretting about the whole issue the past few days. I realized that I will just ask the guy I like for his screen name and get to know him while I am in a different school next year (now with my boyfriend....could this have POSSIBLY worked out any worse??) And after my summer job (spent with my boyfriend) I will let him go very easily. I know that he will be sad and it will be a hard thing for both of us, because I've been through it with him before (breaking up, then going back, because we weren't ready yet). But I want him to know that I'm ready to just be the friends that we truely are (because we havn't even kissed yet and we've gone out for a few years!) So I hope that you can do the same thing too and everything works out alright. My boyfriend often showed me that he loved me more than I loved him, which made me sort of pretend. But I am not going to do that anymore. Neither should you. Lets get through this together!
Sincerely, Slush Puppy <3
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Wow! Ya'll have been together for a long time which leaves me to say that you owe it to him to sit down face to face and let him know how you feel. Ask him if he can meet up with you one day and sit down and talk and everything you said about your feelings being different and it not being fair for the two of you, you need to tell him. You'll know what to say when you see him as I'm sure you know that you can't plan anything ahead because you won't end up saying those exact words and if you do you'll be able to tell that you planned it. But, you need to let him know everything that feel inside of your heart and let him know that you still care for him and will still be there for him, but your feelings have changed and it just isn't fair for either of you to be in a relationship when only one person is still way into the relationship. Who knows. He may feel the same way about you and just doesn't know how to tell you or is too scared of what it will be like without you. Good luck!! I hope I helped!!
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Breaking up is not easy to do..especially being that you have been with this person for so long. There is no way around it..you have to tell him its over. Definately dont be harsh..but you have to tell him how you feel and that it is over. If it were me, I would do it in person if i could. I would bringg all of my partners belongings with me and explain to him that you feel the two of you have been drifting apart..and that you met someone else. It might hurt him..and its not a fun thing..but it has to be done. If your partner was the one breaking up with you..i bet you would want to know everything he/she is feeling,why,etc. So dont be shy..tell him everything so he has some closure..and yes he will probably be very sad, but time is the best medicine. Good lucck!
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