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tense
Even though this is related to another question I have on this site (now). I am going to ask it here. This question has to be answered separately from the other one.
I start to get anxious and uptight and tense when my mom gets insistent that there is something wrong with me for buying as much jewelry as I do. She starts to lecture me and tries to make me feel that her way of thinking is right and my way is totally or almost totally wrong. However, I made the mistake last week of telling her how much I spent. On Thursday I told her I spent $21 and then on Friday I spent $26. And the only reason I told her was because of my anxiety which makes me start thinking: well if she was with me would she start making me uncomfortable for spending that amount, would she make me feel there is something wrong with me. HOWEVER, She then said the following to me this past Sunday: Just hear me out. What is the difference if you wont buy one piece of jewelry for $50 or all those pieces for $50. And why did you put all your bills onto your charge card - you still have to pay it. You will dig yourself into a hole; This statement was made as we were in the beginning of a fight when she said to me why did you put that website for job hunting on your Mastercard you dont even want to look for a now job now and your checkbook is not totally accurate. She never said anything like the above before, usually she teases me and asks me how many necks do you have, or arms, etc. BUT NOW she is saying all these things. You see she doesnt understand that if you dont buy the same item in every color it wont be there later on that day or even the next day. THIS IS WHAT MY OLDER NEPHEW SAID TO ME TONIGHT: You should just ignore her and do what you want and not get upset when she says these things SO HELP ME. Should I care what she says, or should I just ignore it, and give me any other input you can think of
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Well, she's your mother. For that, she automatically gets a few props. She did, after all, (as most mothers say when they're in a bind) "Carried you for nine months in my womb".
It sort of seems to be like you have a shopping problem, with your whole, "You see she doesnt understand that if you dont buy the same item in every color it wont be there later on that day or even the next day." statement.
You didn't say how old you were, but seeing as you're old enough to have a job and a credit card, I'm going to guess around 18-25, yeah?
First of all, she's right about credit cards putting you further and further into the hole, because it happens. I mean, everybody's seen those MTV shows that talk about the 22 year olds having to move back in with their parents and declare bankruptsy or those 18 year olds 20,000 in debt already. It happens. Not only to young people, but to middle aged or even elderly people.
For now, at least, put your credit card on hold. Get a job if you don't have one already and wait atleast until your first pay check to even think about your credit card bill again. Then, the first thing after you get your pay check, PAY ALL YOUR BILLS. With what's left over, use the CASH to go shopping. Credit cards should be saved for EMERGENCYS only, alright? Even though some people can use them for everyday spending, it's because they have a steady in and out system like I've mentioned.
After you get your pay check and pay your bills, if you have money left over from your shopping, put it into your checking account, because there it can earn you interest, which is a very good thing. You should always make sure that your check book is as accurate down to the penny as you can get it. If you need to, call your bank and ask for your balance, then draw a line in your check book, and start from that spot on, writing everything that goes IN and everything that goes OUT down in the space provided. The key is ORANIZATION.
About the tense and uptight feelings-- it may be guilty. You know what you're doing is wrong, yet you're doing it anyway. Change what you're doing and you should be fine.
Wow. That answer was longer than I intended.
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