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Depression of Hormones?
14/f
I don't know if I'm depressed or if it's just teenage hormones but...
Since 4th grade, I've been getting multiple suicide thoughts and in the past year and a half, I've been attempting to kill myself but backed down at the last moment. & I feel like a horrible person, friend, daughter, sister, and everything. I feel like no one cares about me and that no one would miss me if I'm gone. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone and that everyone deserves someone much better than me. I've tried to drug, drown, strangle, and cut myself to death. And I always seem to stare out of my window wondering where I'd fall and if I would die. I've been cutting myself for over a year now and blah. I'm afraid to let anyone get close to me and I just pretend like everything is fine. But when I get home, I just want to kill myself and start crying.
What's wrong with me? This has been going on for 5 years now and it's not getting any better but getting worse and worse
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make a friend try and find someone who understands you. im the same as you. what most people told me was that theres atleast one person in your life that will love you. i have never believed this but then i realized it. just dont lose your friends i was in the group of all the goths and we were all bffs then we got in a fight then got separated to different schools. they were the only ones that cared for me enough to even try to save me. there the only ones ever to keep me from my last suicide thought. my bff saved my life from being there and stopping me from bleeding to death instead of like the others he actually stayed all from cutting as deep as i could VERY deep. there is always someone worse than you my friend was worse than i thought anyone could get she was 15 and is dead. im getting over cutting by cutting up stuff not me it sounds bad but im getting over it go cut up leaves books anything but you or anyone else. and think if you kill yourself you have a good life you have food and atleast one person in your life you really know i didnt think i did but i do. your not diening of starvation. for a project we are penpals with people our age in VERY poor places. mine has her mom just died of disease the day before she wrote it and within that same month her sister of starvation. she hasnt eaten for 6 days and is still trying to live a happy life she says i sounded mad or deppressed about something then she told me her story. and where she lives a kid dies every 20 seconds. 12 kids died so far while i was writing this. and they loved their life. she said she lives like shell die tomarrow. but to answer your question someone has it worse than you and someone loves you i never thouth that at all life is hell make it worth it someone else could have had your life but you were ment to live it there is something you were ment to do. life gets to its breaking point before it gets better in deppresion. im still at the very edge of the breaking point. you sound like me and writeing this kept my mind off my life. i was crying and sreaming when i started this but now im calm. and cut stuff not you. taking away the sharp stuff didnt work at all probly made it worse for me. anything can kill you life is death soon. never give up. your in deppression me to this is what im doing so far and ive lived for almost a week with nobody. a record between my old friends when i had them. hormones only make it worse its not just hormones at all something happened in the star of this all you HAVE to find out what try everything you can and right a journal. ask me more questions if you ever wana. ill update you on how im living it out to. DO NOT GIVE UP. im right now i could die tomarrow. live life till your death of old age not suicide. so many more kids have died that loved their life 36 while i was writing this remember you are ment to do something to change the world. and find out what started this all. hope i helped at all.
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Hey
I know how you're feeling
I've been feeling similar since I was about 8 years old
Hon, You need to get help. It will benifit you.
There is a reason for the cutting and the self-worthlessness. It isnt fair on you to feel horid about yourself, I bet you'rea brilliant person.
I recently tried to kill myself, and as only stopped by a fried ringing me. I thought that no-one cared about me either, but once a few of my friends heard about my experience, I realise just how much support I get from them, and I appreciate it now.
Talk to a few of the people that you asscosciate with and I'm sure they'll tell you that they care for you.
If you're having one of 'those' times wher you think that yiu need to do something, then get away from anything that up could use, lock yourself in the under-stair cupboard if you have to.
You're a strong person,
You've survived this long and you've come one here and asked for help.
Its the first step. (:
AIM/MSN me if you need to
Look on my column
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It sounds to me like you're depressed. You need to a see a doctor & a counselor. If you don't do anything to get help, these feelings you're having will just get worse.
If you would like to talk, all of my information is on my column.
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Please understand that no-one on this site can fully diagnose you, we can only make suggestions. In my opinion, it sounds like moderate depression. You really need to see a doctor, or a therapist. You need help with the thoughts, cutting, etc.
"* Give up the idea of perfection. No one's life is perfect. We all usually have one aspect of our life that is frustrating, unfulfilled, and simply not working. Very few people ever have everything at the same time. While one person's career might be flying high, their personal life might be in shambles. Another person might have both a great career and a great love life, but they may lack good friends. One person may have lots of opportunity to travel, but lack opportunity for close personal connections. Another person may be gifted with lots of friends and family, but opportunities for travel and education might be limited. Let go of the notions television feeds us. Forget thinking about the supposed perfection of the lives of celebrities--their lives are told to us through public relations machines that are skilled in dishing out a portrait of perfection that usually is far from the truth (remember Burt and Loni).
* Write. Each day, write freely about what most bothers you. Don't edit yourself. Don't worry about spelling or grammar. Just write! Write five things you are most grateful for each day. A gratitude journal can help you begin seeing life as half full rather than half empty. Write letters to friends and family. Write notes to yourself, encouraging and upbuilding yourself as if you were talking to a much beloved friend. Write letters to your children, to be opened at various stages in their life. Write cards. Write postcards. Writing can help you reach within yourself and outside to the world around you.
* Get involved in the life of a child. A child can bring you out of yourself and help you once again see the wonder and joy in life. If you have children, begin to really put yourself in their shoes. Get involved in their activities. Aim to make one hour of each day with your children fun and joyful. Make this an hour they will remember all their lives. See your job as a parent as a sacred trust--everything you do and say can either heal them and make them strong, or wound them and make them weak. If you don't have children, become a Big Brother or Sister, volunteer, write letters to children who are ill. Get outside yourself and involved in the life of a little person who needs you.
* Watch your language. The words you use can make you depressed. Stay away from negative words. Avoid sayings like, "nothing ever goes right for me" "or figures that would happen to me" or "what should I expect? Life isn't fair." Your words can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Let your self-talk be positive, optimistic and hopeful. It may take effort to keep your language upbeat when you feel down, but making an effort to do so will help change the pattern in your brain that may expect life to be unhappy, unfair and depressing.
* Pay attention to your spiritual self. Each of us has a deep spiritual self that needs attending to. Pray. Read spiritual works. Memorize passages in the Bible. Spend time in nature. Be good to the soulful part of you that longs for connection to something higher.
* Write a life mission statement. What do you most want to accomplish in your life? If you were to die tomorrow, what would you want to be remembered for? What legacy do you want to leave? Stop sweating the small stuff and pay attention to your life mission. Each one of us can contribute greatly to the welfare of this earth. Commit yourself to someone or something outside yourself and make it a life goal to improve things on this earth. Your mission statement could include a commitment to the environment, animals, the homeless in your community, your grandmother, the public schools in your city, your children. Make it your goal to improve the lot of someone else.
* Get creative. Take painting lessons. Start learning how to play the piano, the guitar, the violin. Walk around town taking photographs. Begin a scrapbook. Write a children's story, a novel, a romance, a poem, a song. Let your creative self explore and revel in the joy of creation.
* Eat healthy. The chemicals, or lack of them, in our brain and body can either make us happy or sad. Eat lots of spinach, kale, broccoli, parsley. Buy a juicer and begin making vegetable and fruit drinks. Take a multivitamin. Make sure you getting the adequate amount of folic acid, zinc, Vitamin C, E and B. See a nutritionist and find out which herbs, vitamins and minerals your body needs. Vitamins and minerals, such as folic acid, magnesium, Vitamin C and others can do wonders to improve your mood. Make it your goal to eat four vegetables and two fruits a day. Stay away from too much caffeine, sugar, chocolate or empty-calories like white bread and white pasta.
* Get plenty of rest. Sleep deprivation can make one depressed. A fatigued and sleep-deprived body will fail to make the necessary 'happy chemicals' to keep you feeling up. Shut the television, cancel your appointments, shut the telephone, and go to bed early at least three nights a week.
* Start exercising. Exercise can help your body make and release those 'happy chemicals' that keep you feeling good. Start swimming. Join an aerobics class. Buy a videotape and start exercising. Join a local walking club.
* Set new goals. A new goal can give one renewed interest in life. Set a goal that is challenging, but not stressful and frustrating. It could be as simple as taking a class, getting to know your neighbors, reading one new book a week, or volunteering at a local senior citizen center.
* See a therapist. Sometimes depression stems from long unresolved feelings and issues that go back to childhood. Other times, depression comes from a lack of understanding about how to make one's life meaningful, authentic and fulfilling. The right therapist can help get to the root of one's sadness. Be careful of therapists who want to blame or alienate patients from family and friends--the goal is to heal, not blame, become strong, not encourage a victim-like mentality.
* Read. There are thousands of self-help books available that actually have some very good advice. While some of the advice is cliche and useless, most books at least have one nugget of knowledge that can be useful. Visit your local bookstores and library and read as much as you can. Self-education is a gift to yourself.
Bonus tip:
* Self-nurture. Surround yourself with teddy bears and dolls. Drink soothing tea. Light candles scented with fragrances that make you feel warm, loved, serene. Hang up pictures that remind you of happy times. Wrap yourself in a lovely quilt or afghan. Buy clothes with colors that heal and invigorate. Play music that gives you hope."
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Try this too!
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Your depression may also be an effect of low self esteem. If you have low self esteem, try this:
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Hope I helped, and good luck.
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