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What to do???
okay so i am finally over this guy that i have liked/loved for almost two years. Now there is this other guy that i am getting close to and we might be going out. But for some reason none of my friends are supporting me... and the reason they arent supporting me is because they want me to go out with my bff who is a girl!!! I have no clue what to do and i really need your guys help. I REALLY lie this new guy and all my friends to is talk shit about him to me. And right now my "BFF" tells me that she thinks this guy is using me because hes depperate. I dnt want to believe what she is teling me but idk. Should i ask the guy or just forge5t aboutit.....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The problem with doing whatever your friends say, is that it might not always be what your heart wants. Keep on letting others make your romantic choices, and you could end up with a boyfriend who everyone approves of... but who doesn't really make you happy.
Forget the fact that if these people were really your friends, they would accept who you choose as a boyfriend, no matter what clique he's in. Forget that if you bossed around some of these people, they'd probably either ignore you or tell you to MYOB. Forget that you're the one who has to spend time with the guy you date, not them, and it doesn't matter what your friend thinks. Forget that in not too many years from now, school will be over and cliques will be meaningless anyway. Yep, forget all that.
Just worry about this. In life, you can choose to be a leader (at least of your own self), or a follower. The life of a follower is generally a lame one. You end up being pushed around at the whims of others, and never doing what you really desire, because you're afraid of what the crowd (or your inner circle) say.
My advice to you is, date who you like, and don't date who you don't like. Period. Simple as that. If you like your boyfriend, stick with him. Don't give in to peer pressure, or go back to a more-popular ex. If all your friends approved of your current guy, do you think you'd still miss the old one so much? Most relationships break up for a reason, so maybe it's best that you're in a new relationship and moving on.
Of course, only you know what's really in your heart. If you feel that your ex was and is the best guy for you. try striking up a friendship (or at least a conversation) with him again. Let him know you miss him in your life, and wouldn't mind hanging out. You can always see how it goes as friends, and if he treats you well. If so, you can think about whether you should be with him again.
But for now, give your geek a chance. Tell your so-called friends that you like this guy, and as long as he treats you with respect, you're going to date him. Be clear that they don't have to love him, but they do have to respect your right to choose your own boyfriend. That is, if they want to continue to call you "friend".
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Your friends should support you adn respect the fact that oyu like this guy. And if they don't they should at least have the respect to not say anything and keep it to themselves, tellingyo that they don't like it and they want you to date someone else is not being supportive and not helping you at all.
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Ok this is way too much "he said that she said that I thought that they said" sort of stuff:). Your friends have to support you on this, or in the very least they have to keep quiet. You are perfectly in your right to ask them to back off. Even if this guy is bad news (which I am not saying he is), your friend's role is to support and guide you, no more. The final descision is up to you.
So, yes, you should ask the guy. I have no idea if he is desperate or whatever, but I do know that you should beware the rumours you hear down the grapevine. Stay sharp, keep in mind what your friends said, but ask the guy out and judge the situation for yourself.
Good luck.
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