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Teacher is an a-hole
f/17
To make a long story short. I write for newspaper, I wrote a review on the school musical, it was over 4 typed pages long so i cut it down a lot. But it still was too long to fit on the layout so our editor cut the story down some more. so the paper is printed and people start asking my why I didn't mention Mr. B the director. I told them I that I did but some one had cut it out.
He left one of our newspapers in the media room that said in big letters on it " [my name] Last time I checked I directed the musical, maybe I didn't.
Now we had written another article on HIM and about HE was directing for the first time. But this was not my fault and the review was really only supposed to be about the students anyway. What should I do. I am really upset...???
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(NEW INFO: Get the director a card and compliment his/her job in it and mention that in no way did you intend on leaving his name out. The editor cut that portion out and that more care will be taken in the future when I write about you.
Your feedback is always welcome. Then drop it. That will take care of him/her as you are being the pacifist and better person.)
ON TO THE REST OF THE ADVICE ON WRITING AND THIS ISSUE: IT'S STILL APPLICABLE AND WILL MAKE YOU WRITE MUCH BETTER.
Don't be upset. He has sensitivity issues and isn't acting like a professional here. Yes, it always feels bad if your name is left out being the writer or director of something but it wasn't your fault.
If he has an issue with your article tell him to take it up with the editor. That person can set him straight that the omission was an oversight and far from being deliberate.
The thing you need to learn from this is to make your articles much shorter. Your lead sentence is very important in case an editor starts cutting from the bottom.
You need to get the who, what, when, where, why, how into the first line as well as what your verdict is on the play.
Then spend the next two paragraphs on the most important elements about the show that ties back to the lead. Your second paragrph is called the nut graf as it's the core of every article you write.
Get the important stuff into paragraph 2 and 3 and write maximum fourteen inches for a feature article or 525 words for a standard review. Newspaper articles seldom go beyond 14 inches column length. On some computers you can set your word processor up so it has a ruler on the side that you can follow.
You need to tighten up your paragraphs, be selective with words and write a killer lead and second and third graph so the editor can cut away things without taking an important name or info out.
You have to understand with a review that the audience only wants your verdict (reasons why as well) and the who, what, when, where, why, how and nothing else.
Tell them briefly in a sentence or two what the plot is about and expand on certain performances but leave it at that. People who write reviews including professionals usually tell too much about the show or movie.
If you can learn to scale things back and think in your head "What's important here?" What do they really need to know? and If it were me where would I want this review to stop if I were reading it myself?
You need to re-read, re-write and refine everything before handing of to your editor as that's how you become a star reporter and avoid this kind of problem. You also need to develop a thick skin too for idiots like this teacher and sources who can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
I'm a professional writer myself having gone to college and this is the exact same advice I learned and everyone struggled with in school.
My advice is if you really want to be a writer is to pick up idiots guides, grammar books, and The Elements of Style that really teach you how to write and learn the tricks. Nobody can criticize you then.
If you would like I could take a look at your review and offer advice on how you could have made it better and fitted what you really wanted to say in. Pop me a private mail and I'll help you further.
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Chill out.
You aren't professionals. You make mistakes. He's response was an over-reaction amazingly CHILDISH. Don't feel bad, some teachers are just jerks, (in my experience that includes most music teachers) But now you've learned something and he is right. Something like the director's name shouldn't be cut. If it's cut in one place, it should at least be slot in and mentioned at the begining.
You've made your peace with him. If you wanted maybe you could send him the orginal article with a quick note of apology like:
"I'm so sorry your name was ommitted in the editing of this peice, it should never have been cut, but I wanted you to have the full peice so you knew everything I thought about your wonderful show.
Agian, I'm sorry. I hope you direct agian soon!"
Then stop beating yourself up so much! You made an honest mistake and your learned from it. It wasn't even really your fault. In the future, try to remember how much space ya got ;) It's always iffy when someone else starts to cut away at your writing.
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i think you should talk to him or write him an email or something. Tell him exactly what you wrote here about how someone else cut him out. make sure you say sorry even though u didnt do anything wrong it will get you extra points.
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