i need help. my best friend just told me that she is bilemic and has been for almost a year and that she has been getting help and is doing much better, but really bothered me that she felt like she couldn't trust me enough to tell me before she told the guy she was dating at the time and other people that she doesn't really consider close friends. what should i do...should i just forget about it and just let her know i'll be there for her or should i ask her why she felt like she couldnt tell me??
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? Sabine answered Saturday April 21 2007, 6:27 pm: Don't forget that bulemia itself is a hallmark of disordered thinking. It's not a healthy way of making choices for oneself. Plus, when your body is low on protein and fats, you don't think well. I think maybe she wasn't ready to tell you because she wasn't sure how people in general would react. Sure, you're her best friend, but she didn't know whether admitting to a mental health problem would be a 'deal breaker' in that regard and would change your opinion of her. You know that she has self-image issues, so it's probably no surprise that she is very concerned with having others' approval. Probably she shared it with others first because you were one of the people she could least afford to lose in her life. She needed you to be there and supportive and, since she didn't know how you'd react, she didn't risk telling you for her own sake. It wasn't that she didn't trust you, just that she couldn't lose you. So she tried confessing her problem to people that she didn't mind losing so much. Maybe that's not the way it is - who knows? But don't be angry or upset with her. She's going through enough judgment and needs your support right now.
christina answered Saturday April 21 2007, 5:06 pm: Ask her why she couldn't tell you. You're her best friend, and she should be able to tell you anything. Just like you can tell her anything when there's something wrong.
See what she has to say & then make it very clear to her that you'll always be there when she needs you & that she can trust you with her life and her problems. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
xojessii answered Saturday April 21 2007, 5:00 pm: i think you should just tell her that you'll be there for her.
but if you are really curious i guess you could ask her why she didnt tell you.
but i wouldnt try to bother her too much about it.
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