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I can't deal with my mom anymore..
Hey. Well, I'm thirteen, and I've moved back in with my mom 4 years ago [my parent's got divorced, long story]. Just about half a year ago, my mom and I started to really get on eachother's last nerves. It seems like she never approves of anything I do, like wearing 'dark' eyeliner or painting my nails black. I can't even talk to her anymore becuase it's like she's insane or something. She doesn't listen to me, and yells from the conversation's start to finish. She won't even let me like make a deal with her, like I'll wear lighter eyeliner, but the nails stay black. All she does is comment on how I'm too skinny, or 'goth' or how my behavior changes when I'm with different friends, like they influence how I behave, which is NOT true. She also seems to think I'm like, so slutty, when compared to half the girls in my school, I'm like a saint. And, she thinks that I'm like, a druggie and when I go uptown with my friends from my dad's neighborhood, I'm up to no good.. when I'm not doing ANYTHING wrong. I've never smoked or drank, and I wouldn't, I would never be able to manage getting away with it. The point is, I can't stand my mom, and I can't even talk to her and tell her what's bothering me, or she has a fit over absolutely nothing... I'm not exagerating, either. Please help, I don't want to stress over this, and hate my own mother, but I really can't take her anymore.
And sorry that this is so long, but I REALLYY need some help with this.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Your Mom may also be going through rough times. Surprise her and do something nice for her. Make her feel appreciated. It could be something as easy as bringing her a cup of tea or coffee, doing the dishes.
She sounds like she worries quite a bit about you and wants the best for you.
Before you get into any serious conversations with your Mom, talk about subjects that you both agree with.
13 is also not an easy age but you sure can learn a lot if you are willing to open up your mind a little.
Hope it works out for you.
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Wow, your mother sounds really scared. After everything that has happened, it seems she is terrified of losing you as well. You don't hate her, you hate what has happened between you, and you can't see a way out at the moment.
I don't know anything about the breakup or the area your dad lives in, but whether real or perceived she sees some kind of danger associated with you going there. She knows you better than anyone, and is going to be concerned about whether you are yet experienced enough to deal with some of the situations you may find yourself in.
If talking to each is out of the question at the moment, try writing her a letter. Keep it respectful, state your concerns politely and suggest compromises. Let her know that you are growing up, not away from her. Tell her that you love her and respect her and her opinions but you need some space to grow. Mention that you have chosen this method as you don't want to argue but you both need to establish some ground rules you are both happy with. If she sees that you can take some responsibility, she may calm down a little.
It is very hard these days being the mother of teenage daughters. There are so many things you can see that could harm them, and you worry constantly, it's part of being a parent. You need to understand this to be able to start seeing where she is coming from.
The thing that concerns me most is where you have said, 'I've never smoked or drank, and I wouldn't, I would never be able to manage getting away with it'. Does this mean you would if you could? If so, your mothers' inner radar could be picking up on this and stressing her out more.
You really do need to open some line of communication before it's too late and you both say or do something you are going to regret.
Good luck.
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Something you could try is write her a letter. Or tell her you want to discuss somethings, and if yo really feel strong about talk about moving back in with your father? I really feel for you, if there is anything else just ask. Good luck
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