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UGH. seriously need help.
okay,i need help on makeing friends..kind of. im already in a "group" but, i don't think im much like them. there all really close and then im just there. its like i dont exist sometimes. its just because,im kind of quiet. and im not exactly like, them. but i'm still with them,some how. i mean,i have NO sense of humor,and there very humorous. how do i make things funnier? how can i speak up? and, if you must label us, we would be the random,skater,whatever, group. i just,have no close friends what so ever. and i dont know how to make them! this has been going on for probably 2 years. and i'm starting to get really sad that no one cares that much for me. how do i make them care for me more? thanks so much,i really need help on this one. oh and i dont remember things,i suck at it. also,i find myself so lost,i dont know how that might help,but yeah.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Your problem is that you do not believe in yourself and feel that you lack all the qualities that are needed to have friends and keep them. Believing this about yourself is utter garbage and is exactly what is holding you back from having the very things you want.
You have the same exact qualities that your friends do as well as the same abilities to make friends. The reason you aren't doing it is because you are fearful and believe that people see you as having no sense of humor, that you don't exist, I'm not like the others etc. etc.
Why are these beliefs holding you back and impacting your ability to have quality friends ? Put simply your classmates see your insecurities as you're telegraphing to everyone whether you know it or not exactly how you feel about yourself and that you lack self-esteem. They can see there's a problem but aren't sure what it is about you and they back off.
The fact is you do have a personality, a sense of humor and people do and will care for you. You just have to believe it and think (as I know this is true) that you have all the qualities everyone else has to make friends. I just have to claim those qualities and friends as being mine. You'll soon find yourself with some as you brighten your outlook.
It's a fact right now that people do in fact like you. You have a group of people who have accepted you. They must see something they like but are frustrated you never get involved in the conversation or relax enough to have more fun.
You don't have to force things either because that's what you are doing. People don't be funny they are funny. Just be yourself and relax as a funny moment or a joke creates itself without you having to create it or force it. Act natural and don't worry about labels either.
The biggest thing you need to know is that these people are not concerning themselves with what they think about you. When you are with them they're likely wondering what you are thinking about them. How do you speak up? just be yourself and talk to people like you would your parents, siblings etc as it's no different and there's no pressure.
The best way to meet people you like is to host a party and get to know them well that way or invite them to hang out at the mall, bowling, a movie etc. As long as you are confident you have all the qualities that people cannot reist in friends and believe it you'll blossom here.
It is also my recommendation that you talk to your guidance counsellor and explain how shy you are and that you find it hard to speak up and make friends easily. He/she will help you with hints and tips about social skills. At the same time ask them to get you a position on student council.
You'll be in constant situations there where people will ask your opinion and get you to speak. This will give you the confince to always do it. It doesn't happen in a snap but if you work on these things listed above your world can do nothing but change.
How do I know? I was in your shoes once. If you believe in yourself as being someone people are attracted to you will be. They will see the change you'll not need to convince them. They might just come to you first.
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well if you don't know any of them very well i say start out by getting some one on one time with each of them. ask questions and justtak to them BUT if you don't fell like you fit in with them then you might want to seach for some new freinds that is what happend to me last year i s reall quiet and kind of a outcast in my group of friends but this year i have a whole new set of freinds and i talk alot more than last year because i actually feel like i fit in. try it it might help.
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I know exactly how you feel this year was my first year in college and first i met a girl that really liked me and i really liked her and she even introduiced me to her friends and we spent some time together but i just didn't really fit in so even though i didn't cut myself odd from her and them because they were friends and associates to me i still had to find a place where i felt more comfortable then i found the friends i have now which happened because we clicked in a way and that is because even though i am not a big talker and joker i talked at pace because i asked questions about them and allowed them to talk about themselves and acted interested and entertained some of their interest even though i didin't really change myself for them some times some parts of you need to grow and when i was with them the things i saw i needed to work on that would make me come out of my shell and more social i did change without changing my identity for example when i was a round my best friend catherine and her friends they would be talking and laughing and i wouldn't be saying anything even one night they went to a party and she was like well we are going with shelley and i was like why do we have to go out with shelley what i realized was she was trying to include me and not exclude me and that she wasn't trying to leave me out or ignore me i just had to open my mouth and jump in when it is appropiate you have to make yourself known and make a personality so you can be liked and accepted as a close friend and person. But, as far as friends everything will work out in time the more you learn about life nad yourself the happier you'll be with other people and your relationships.
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HI
Well, sounds like you really really want a sort of best friend. Why, dont you talk it over with your friends. Tell them how you feel about this. Tell them you feel left out a bit.
Join some sport activities, or just any public activity that is fun for YOU. That way you can meet new people. Be yourself, and get more involved. Or, try online friendship. You can find a lot of online friends all over the world. And when you feel down, go buy a big world map, and stick on stars, where all yor *online friends are. With them, you can talk about anything.
hope i helped
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