Okay I have an ex boyfriend that won't get the hint that I am in a loving relationship., well today he decided to call me and was mad because I might be pregnant. Well anyways he told me that he still wants to be friends and everything he just didn't want me to tell him about me and my boyfriend. Which it's hard to do, because I love him so much. But what really upsets me is that we were supposed to be friends, when he just told me tonight he doesn't care what I do, but that he still loves and misses me and wished he could have me back, what am I supposed to do? Keep being friends with him, or tell him where to get off at????
katie_babey answered Thursday March 29 2007, 12:37 pm: Hi,
I think that he needs to move on but its hard for him and you need to understand that. Im sure he knows thats what he needs to do but you need to sit and talk about everything because im sure he still wants to be your friend. I mean its better to have a friend than him be mad at you all the time and end up not being your friend. I mean you should have alot of respect for him and i dont think you should talk about your boyfriend to him because thats hard to hear when hes still in ove with you. I mean im sure if that was you you wouldnt want to hear about your ex boyfriends girlfriends thats really hard to take in. Just sit and talk to him about it and see what he has to say and if you dont want him in your life anymore than stop talking to him. But if you want him in your life as a friend or w/e than keep talking to him and be his friend. But you need to tell him that you guys are just friends and only friends because your with someone else. Ok well good luck with this and if you need anymore help you can ask me in my inbox ok?
Hope i helped out!?
~katelyn~ [ katie_babey's advice column | Ask katie_babey A Question ]
Ilovehippies answered Thursday March 29 2007, 10:57 am: I agree that he needs to move on, but completely avoiding him is running away. You really need to sit down and talk to him about it. or at least over the phone. Once you try to talk it out, then you can block him and avoid his calls. I just think you should give it a head-on approach, dont run from him, if he's even semi-important in your life, you need to try to remain friends. [ Ilovehippies's advice column | Ask Ilovehippies A Question ]
BubblyGirl answered Thursday March 29 2007, 3:02 am: sweetie, you need to be straight up with him. dont keep being friends with him. you dont need him in your life. you have your boyfriend! just dont answer his calls, block him on IM, completely remove him from your life. he needs to move on. [ BubblyGirl's advice column | Ask BubblyGirl A Question ]
Damian answered Thursday March 29 2007, 2:04 am: With a rather clingy ex-boyfriend, you have to make a simple choice. The decision is between whether or not you still want this guy in your life.
If you do, there's no definite way to make him "back off" and still be friends. You just need to keep going on your way and doing your own thing regardless of what he says or does. If you are in another relationship now, it'd probably be best if you stopped taking his calls for a while to cut down on contact.
My suggestion is just to get rid of him. Sure, it's good for your self-esteem to have a guy around who is practically obsessed, but then there are plenty of downsides. Not only is it ridiculously awkward, it can cause complications if your current boyfriend is a bit insecure. This guy has his own set of problems that he needs to deal with. You broke up with him and he just can't deal with it. Not only does he lack the drive to be his own man, he can't even contain himself. This guy is a wreck. It's best for both of you to just stop talking for a two or three weeks, maybe even a month. Not only does this give you time to settle down and get your ducks in a line, it gives him a chance to get his act together and finally pick himself up off the ground.
I know you have your misgivings about just getting rid of him, but stringing him along is just plain cruel. You can have nothing good out of a friendship like this, just drama and problems that you don't have to deal with. Just go your separate ways. Things will work out in the end, but you have to give it time.
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