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how do I choose?
Ok so I'm 15 years old and I have a boyfriend and I love him so much...we'll I think. Sometimes he calls me dummy and stupid and then says that he really likes me. But its like he can't talk to me about personal stuff. I know he loves me but I want him to show it more how?. I love him so much but its hard sometimes to talk to him and show him my feelings. Sometimes I can't even say I love you?. Why and I do know I mean it. Also how do I get him to stop calling me stupid I know he loves me though. Oh and how to I get him to tell me his personal stuff and to let me in?.
Thanks lotsss!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Guys are very, very different from girls emotionally. Many girls can talk about how they feel much easier than guys can. To put it plainly, it's mostly because of the whole "macho" complex that our society is expecting of younger males.
What I'm trying to say is that you're not the problem. He could just have problems expressing himself and getting his point across. Don't blame yourself for it.
I've learned one important thing about guys over the years, and that is that they aren't good with subtle hints. If you want to get your point across, you have to be straightforward.
You could talk to him about it. Don't get angry with him or pressure him, because that will more than likely just make him defensive. He might not even know that he's being less-than-affectionate with you, so politely bring it to his attention.
As for calling you stupid and dummy... you should talk to him about that, too. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially if it gets to the point where it really hurts your feelings.
I would talk to him when you two are alone, and he is free of stress or other negative emotions. Be calm and cool, and try not to yell. It may be hard, but the longer you wait, the worse the strain in your relationship will get.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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well the boy only lets you in on his true filings when hes ready and feels he truly trusts you so you got to just give him time also when you dont say you love him it makes him feel like your backing off but youve probly just learned how to shut your heart down like most of us gurls and you just need time just like your boyfreind obviously you care enough to want to know so just give it time and talk to him more but dont lie to him and yourself by saying you do when you dont
and about the he calling you stupid he probly just means goofy and we goofy gurls are sexy gurls so just takem as they come
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Sometimes it takes years to build up trust...
If he really loves you he will start telling you personal stuff more and more as time goes on, the more he trusts you the more he'll tell you so once he tells you soemthing, anything don't tell a soul.
Have you asked him to stop calling you stupid? Maybe it's jsut his way of flirting, maybe he doesn't know it bothers you. Every time he says it remind him that it really bothers you, if he loves you, he'll stop.
Good luck and don't forget that trust takes time to build.
~Morgan
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Hello.
Trust generally comes with time and by what you say he may just have a barrier up around him to keep you out (maybe he has been hurt in the past?) and so all you will be able to do is work on it to gain his trust. In time he will let you past that defencive barrier and open up to you.
Maybe he is the kind of guy who doen't generally like the whole 'emotional stuff' and hence doesn't like talking about how he feels or doesn't like you telling him you love him. Thing that puzzles me is if he doesn't want to get close to you emotionally why be in a relationship? A relationship is not just a physical togetherness - it has to be emotional as well otherwise below all that physical stuff there really are no foundations to keep it afloat.
I strongly urge you to sit him down and talk to him about how you feel and how he is making it hard for you to express your emotions. A relationship is a two way thing - there's give and take and you seem to not be getting anything back from his side.
As for him calling you stupid, I know how that can get very annoying and maybe even hurtful. H may just say it as a joke but regardless, if it is something you don't like you need to ask him to stop. He is your boyfriend but that does not mean he can call you names and make you feel bad anymore than the next person. Just explain to him that you don't like it and ask him to stop and that should do it hopefully. :]
I hope everything works out after having a chat woth him but if it doesn't we're all here to offer more help.
]
Hello.
Trust generally comes with time and by what you say he may just have a barrier up around him to keep you out (maybe he has been hurt in the past?) and so all you will be able to do is work on it to gain his trust. In time he will let you past that defencive barrier and open up to you.
Maybe he is the kind of guy who doen't generally like the whole 'emotional stuff' and hence doesn't like talking about how he feels or doesn't like you telling him you love him. Thing that puzzles me is if he doesn't want to get close to you emotionally why be in a relationship? A relationship is not just a physical togetherness - it has to be emotional as well otherwise below all that physical stuff there really are no foundations to keep it afloat.
I strongly urge you to sit him down and talk to him about how you feel and how he is making it hard for you to express your emotions. A relationship is a two way thing - there's give and take and you seem to not be getting anything back from his side.
As for him calling you stupid, I know how that can get very annoying and maybe even hurtful. H may just say it as a joke but regardless, if it is something you don't like you need to ask him to stop. He is your boyfriend but that does not mean he can call you names and make you feel bad anymore than the next person. Just explain to him that you don't like it and ask him to stop and that should do it hopefully. :]
I hope everything works out after having a chat woth him but if it doesn't we're all here to offer more help.
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