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the father of my baby
I'm 15 and i just recently got pregnant by my boyfriend and after i told him i was pregnant he started acting all weird and i'm trying everything to make this thing work what should i do
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In most cases of teen pregnancy, don't expect the father to stick around. You might think "Oh, he got me pregnant, he'll stay & support me." Wrong. He won't. He's man enough to get you knocked up, but when it comes to supporting you, & a baby, it just won't happen. He'll walk away from it all & completely abandon you. Not all teenage fathers are like this, but the majority of them are. The ones who aren't will make you eat your words.
I would talk to your parents about it. Tell them what's going on, and what's already happened. They can help you make decisions on what to do with this. Your choices are vague: Have the kid, & keep it. Have the kid, and give it up for adoption, or have an abortion.
If you do decide to keep this baby, there are a lot of things at stake. Your social life will never be the same. Girls at your school will terrorize & piss you off. They'll talk shit, and you won't be able to do anything about it. You'll have to miss a lot of school for your doctors appointments, or just to have the baby in general. And even after you're doing having the baby, you'll still have to miss school so you can heal. And your future will be at stake too. All your dreams/goals can be taken away from you. With the expenses of the baby, it'll take away college & whatnot. But also, if you keep the baby, you'll be learning a valuable lesson not to have unprotected sex, BUT, you'll also learn love. No one will love you the way your baby will.
If you decide to have an abortion, there's gonna be controversy. People will try to talk you out of it, and you're gonna feel like shit after. And it's gonna sit on your conscience that you just killed a being that could've been amazing. Imagine, that baby could've been the next Einstein, or it could've found the cure for cancer. It could've done something amazing, and you killed it. But, it'd be good for you because you wouldn't have to throw anything away for the sake of your baby.
And if you decide to keep it, but give it up for adoption, you'll probably never see your baby again. Or you might decide at the end you wanted to keep the baby, even though you already signed it off to the other parents. No matter what you do, there's always a problem that's going to face you.
But I'm going to ask you a question or two: What made you think your relationship would work out after your boyfriend found out you were pregnant? What made you have unprotected sex in the first place? Did you even know the consequences? And what did you plan on doing?
You're only 15 years old, and you've practically ruined your life. But, whatever you decide to do, is totally your decision. Make sure that if you decide to have this baby & keep it, you do whatever it takes to support it. But let me tell you, not many places will hire a 15 year old.
And as for your boyfriend, punch him in the face for ruining your life. He deserves to get his ass kicked. And next time you have sex, use protection so things like this don't happen again. No teenager is fit to be a mother, no matter what they think.
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What you need to is tell your parents what happened. They're going to find out eventually anyway. Tell them that your boyfriend is acting strange about this and you fear he's not going to be very helpful in the long run.
They can confront his parents about this and insist that he take an active roll in caring for the baby once it's born and looking after you. Why can they do this? If he doesn't help you financially let alone at all he can be taken to court and him and his family forced to do so.
You can also terminate his rights as a father and bar him from seeing your child. When he is faced with reality he will be forced to take interest.
He may also just be acting weird with you right now as he has no idea what to do about this situation. He could be as scared if not more than you are and his reaction and or avoidance of you is because he's not yet ready to handle the issue and be responsible.
He could come around on his own and support you but if his behavior continues be sure your parents have a chat with his and or a lawyer on your behalf.
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While of course you want to make sure things with your boyfriend work out, he's not actually the priority right now. You are.
Your first responsibility to yourself is to decide what you want to do about this pregnancy. Your smartest option is to speak with a professional about all your options, and the implications they have. The sooner in a pregnancy you decide to terminate it, the safer it is. Likewise, if you want to keep the baby, you need to begin getting medical care as quickly as possible.
Time is really of the essence.
If you terminate the pregnancy, your next responsibility to yourself is to take care of yourself, whatever way makes sense for you. This could include counselling, planning a really special weekend for yourself, etc.
If you carry on with the pregnancy, you'll need to be taking it easy anyway. Learning about pregnancy, the development of a baby in womb, and the sorts of things you can do to make this a healthy pregnancy.
Once all of this is sorted, then you can begin to look at the relationship again. Your boyfriend is acting weird because this is a huge problem - getting a 15 year old pregnant, and therefore having the possibility of being a father before even finishing high school, is enough to stress any guy out. It is quite normal that there is a lot of pressure on the relationship.
This will require a lot of good communication and honesty. Whatever decision you make about the pregnancy is likely to have a huge impact on the relationship, and not a good one. I don't say this to be all doom and gloom, but merely to be realistic. Can your relationship survive this? of course. Is it LIKELY to survive this?
Only you can answer that. Most relationships in the early/mid teens, no matter how strong and without complication, are not likely to last longterm. When you add pregnancy to the mix, that makes things much more difficult.
Whatever happens, I sincerely wish you the best and hope that everything you decide is focusing on supporting yourself and making the right choices for your life.
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hey, well i dont know if your for abortion or not, but i recommend getting an abortion if that goes along with your faith and what you believe in. the reason i say go for an abortion is because if your babys father isnt going to help out at all, its going to be hard to take care of a kid alone. also sweetie, your still in school. whos going to watch your child all day during school? you certainly cant bring it with you and im sure your parents have lives and jobs. if your not for abortion, you should have the child and then give it up for adoption. that way were not killing a kid and it can be loved and cared for by someone who can handle it. i wish you the best of luck, i really do.
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