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family troubles
15/m/vancouver, canada
my older brother(17) is physically abusive of me, he throws stuff at me, punches me, kicks me, and pulls my hair and i really dont know why he does it. i cant tell my parents about it because my grandmother is on his side and shell just deny everything that i say, my sisters wont do anything about it either because they dont want to get punished. im really getting sick of this, physically and mentally. my parents wont belive me even if i show them the bruises, my grandmother just tells them that im a clutz and everything and that its nothing to worry about. i dont want to run away from home because its illegal. i really want to stay with my family and i know that if i get a restraining order from him theyd basically just banish me. i cant get emancipated because i have no job, and i dont want to go to a foster home. i need an escape from my hectic life at home, but im scared. what should i do?
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No one deserves to be abused, and yes you do have options. Vancouver has many programs to help out teenagers, just like you. I am 15 and live here also, so hopefully I will be able to help you out.
Firstly, you are not alone and it is not your fault that your older brother is doing this to you. He is taking his own pain out on you, it does not mean he doesn't care about you. You may even be able to develop a normal, loving relationship with your whole family in the future.
At my school, we recently had counsellors come in to talk to us about depression and other problems. They were very understanding and helpful. I suggest that you talk to a school counsellor about what's happening in your life and they will be able to get you help.
Don't be worried about getting help, you're brave for even asking this question and trying to improve your life. I'm not some adult saying this, I am a teenager just like you so I hope you understand you are doing the right thing in this situation.
There is a toll free number for Kid's Help Line and I have heard that they are helpful. The number is 1-800-668-6868 or the website is www.kidshelpphone.ca if you would like to contact them. They are trained to help teenagers just like you, and should be able to help you greatly.
One more suggestion is to talk to a trusted adult. This could be a neighbour, friend's parent, teacher or something along those lines.
I strongly suggest that you try speaking to your school counsellor first. They will definately be able to get you help for your family and help heal the wounds that has been caused in your life.
If you need any more help, feel free to ask me. My advice column is "Emilyy" on here if you forget. Good luck, I really hope you get the help you deserve. =)
** Also, you can post a question on www.kidshelpphone.ca to ask a professional counsellor. If you are not comfortable with phoning them, that may be a better solution.
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hello. i also have an older brother, but he is 18. he does not physically abuse me, like in your situation and i hope he never does. are you sure your parents wouldnt beleve you ? i am not really sure what else to say. maybe, and i am not joking, you could videotape these beatings undercover. it wouldnt be too hard. but anyways, good luck
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hey, well keeping it quiet is totally wrong. i think that the next time your brother does it and the bruises are fresh that you call the police. you might think that it will make your home life worse, but having someone know about it and help you will pay off so much. as for the living situations, why not live with another relative? surely there is someone else. you could also seek counciling, if your starting to be hurt mentally. good luck :].
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Abuse is a crime. Your brother needs help with his problem, or he may find himself in a lot of trouble if he abuses others once he enters society as an adult.
If your parents refuse to listen to you and your grandmother allows it to go on, then they aren't protecting you from abuse. It is their JOB to protect you from harm, and they aren't doing their job.
You could always talk to child protective services (surely they have that in Canada?) or you can talk to the police. Those may not be steps you really want to take, but you should NEVER put up with abuse. You don't deserve to be treated that way by ANYONE.
Also, if your sisters are afraid to tell the truth out of fear of being punished for it, then there must be more problems in your home than just your brother's behavior.
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