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my sister just came out to my parents that she was gay. my dad and mom dont even talk to her any more and my dad said he wanted nothing to do with her. i dont care. i love her no matter what. but my sister wants to run away or move out. she wants to live with my principal whos are really close friend but i dont want her to move. shes turning 16 monday and she said that its legal then to move out. i told her i didnt want her to but she keeps saying that she cant live at home anymore. not with parents who dont even talk to her anymore just because shes gay. i dont want to loose my sister! any advice would help! tanxs(im 14 if it helps)
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i know you dont want your sister to move out..but maybe this will be good for her. She cna finally be herself and not worry about her parents. You can still visit her. Im sure her principle will arrange for you to go out with then places or come over to visit often. You can still remain close to her even though she moved out. I would want my sister to be happy.. and i think if she moves out she will be happier. Hopefully in the future her parents will accept her and things will get better...but for now this sounds like the best way
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Actually, from your question, I am not sure who to give advice to. You, who really cares about your sister and fears what this strain is doing to your family, Your parents, who are disappointed and angry, or Your sister who is doing the right thing by being honest and feels that she is getting persecuted for that honesty.
So, since you wrote the question, I wish to help you and give you some advice so you can pass it on to your sister as well.
I think this is one of those great lessons in life where you could understand empathy. Empathy, in case you don't know, is the ability to put oneselve into anothers shoes and feel what they feel. It sounds like you already are doing this and this is great. But you are only doing this for your sister whose cause you feel is right and not worth the grief and shame your parents are pushing onto her. You think your parents are being unjust and ignorant, which I do too, by the way. But I just want to play "devils advocate". Knowing your parents, can you feel what they might be feeling? Disappointment? Shame? Disgust? Wonder? Self loathing? Embarassment? This is their daughter that they held as a baby. I am sure they do love her but they can't put together all their jumbled feelings into a positive response. This may be unchartered territory for them. They don't know what to do. One minute they may feel one thing, another minute another. They probably have been told all their life how wrong and disgusting homosexuality is and now they have to believe that there own flesh and blood is disgusting. They may think that perhaps "its just a phase" and "if we shame her long enough she may grow out of that phase and do the right thing".
I say these things because I don't want you to hold any anger towards your parents for turning your sister away. It is clear that you love your sister. But it is not clear that you can feel your parents pain as well. Just because your parents did not react the way you wanted them to doesn't mean that they did not have just reasons in their eyes. You have many more years ahead of you in their household. Remember, everytime you looked at them with this disappointment and disdain you become just as bad as them, feeling the same way they feel, for the cause you believe is right. That is no way to live your teenaged years. Feel for them.
This advice goes for your sister as well. Pity their ignorance, but stand by your convictions. She is pushing the fast forward button into adulthood when she moves out. Its a shame she has to do this, but these are the cards she has been handed. Time will heal everything. If you live in a major US city chances are there are plenty of gay teen help centers for her to go to. Strongly encourage her to do this for its only counterproductive for your sister to have any hatred towards your parents.
I hope this helps, good luck.
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oooo, that is reallly hard. i am sure your parents are great people, but they need to know that that is a desision your sister has to make and there is nothing wrong with it. my favorite teacher int he world is gay, andd you know what, it doesnt matter because he is a great person, so maby you should talk to your parents, and tell them that your sister is their daughter and they should be proud of her and back her up no matter what, also you could talk to your sister and ask her to give your parents some time to take it all in. i hope everything works out for u!
xoxogotogirl
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well what i can say is you are right you should love your sister no matter what even thought she is gay that dosent change nothing becasue she family and family take care of each other. And being gay isnt bad or wrong its not good but ite not bad also. You need to talk to your parents confront them, one of you has to, tell them that being gay is not a crime and as parents they should be by her side not turning agianst her over something like this cbecause its not right. And for your sister if she really want to move and think its the best way then she should just not live by her self but maybe a family member someone that actually really. good luck with things.
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Well that is a shocker but its good that no matter what you will always love your sister. I know its probably not what you want to hear but you have to think about what your sister wants and what makes her happy. You love her and because of that you have to let her go her own way. I know it is hard but you have to sacrifice for the one you love. Your parents need to love your sister no matter what.
Good luck
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