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fucked up life
13/f. catholic death trap of a school. my life is so fucked up. my life is like the song shut up by blink 182. everything i hate everything but i love my friends. im so deppressed when im at home or anywhere without my friends i would kill myself without them. me and my bff were gona run away but it got messed up. i love black i just dont feel like myself in anything else. my parents are against everything i wear do and act. i just got in with all the gothic kids. my mom HATES all of them shes makin my life even more fucked up. i was in the preps but i started hating it so now im sooo deppressed. ive never had a bf and im madly in love with my bff hes a guy. but i cant have my best friend over cuz hes a guy and she found out i liked him he used to come over none of them can come over because their gothic. i can not cry i just cant not even when everyones been dieing. but im so deppressed. i only love my 5 bffs and one is a preppy guy who i love and he loves me like bf gf and hes been wearin alot of black lately so does that mean something like between us hes my bff and i want him to be my bf but i dont wana ruin being bffs. i hope it wasnt that confusing i have alot on my mind. please dont delete this question i really need help and i cant right it again. and its not just a phase.
1 is it bad i hate my family and cant stand anyone other than my bffs.
2 how do i get my parents to leave me alone about everything.
3 whats so bad about havin your best friend(s)over.
4 we both no we love eachother but i cant make the first move but im not shy around guys at all.
5 and please answer anything else i forgot
omg please help me
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1. Well, yes and no. I think your parents love you and are concerned about your well-being. They're worried about the group of kids you're hanging out with, and how they're going to influence you. That may seem judgemental, but they have every right to want to protect their daughter and make sure she is hanging out with the best possible group. I would try to look at the situation from their perspective, as if this were your daughter and you were the parent. Does this change your mind at all about the way you think of them?
2. Well, I don't know how to get them to leave you alone about "everything". That would be a pretty lonely life if your parents never asked you about your day, wouldn't it? As parents, it's their responsibility to monitor the people you hang out with, so back off a little bit and let them do their job, even if you don't like it. They're not doing it to annoy you, just to protect you! But I would talk to them about it first. Say, "Mom and dad, I really don't like it when you get on my case about ____. If I do _____, will you give me a little bit more freedom with _____?" Come up with a compromise, and hear what they have to say. This will give you a time to express your frustrations with them as well.
Okay, this is getting kind of redundant so, maybe you get the idea. Also, at 13, it's easy to want to form your own identity. That's why a lot of preteens go through the "prep/goth" stage. The older you'll get, though, the more you'll realize how silly all those stereotypes are, and that it's okay to be friends with anybody, no matter what they wear or what their favorite color is. Be yourself, and don't conform to one side or the other. You'll be happiest that way. Dress in a way that is honorable to yourself and portrays you as the great person you are. What you wear says a lot about your personality, so think about what your clothes are saying about you. I know that sounds judgemental, but that's just the way it is.
Good luck! On the bright side, this is probably just a stage. We've all been there, so don't stress about it. Every teenager has a time in their life where they hate their parents, hate a certain "group", wear certain clothes, and want to rebell. If there's anything else you need advice on, just holler! :)
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I know exactly how you feel. I went through that phase when I was your age. I hated my parents, I hated my family, and I hated anyone who wasn't my friend. I hated "preps" who listened to the same music as me; and I hated dumb questions [still do]. I hated everything about everyone, and about myself.
So, you're definitely not alone. Life can be a handful sometimes, and it seems like running away, or suicide can be the only way out, or the only way to fix it. That's not true, and I learned that the hard way. I had both eating disorders [anorexia nervousa, and bulimia], and I had depression. I tried killing myself numerous times because I felt everyone hated me, and that my life wasn't going anywhere. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, and that nothing I did mattered. When I tried to commit suicide last April, the psychatrist at the hospital opened my eyes.
He told me that life didn't have to be what I was making it. If I gave people a chance, I could see that everyone wasn't what I thought they were. Yeah, some people were gonna be assholes, but when you learn that, then you can go back to hating them. But don't shut anybody out. Who knows? A person you don't like could end up being one of your best friends. But, that doctor saved my life, and so did my music, and my best friend.
My life is back on track, and it's taken me almost a year to do it. I go to school, my grades are good, I have a lot of friends. And my relationship with my family is better. They get on my nerves sometimes, but I don't hate them. I know it seems like they're against everything you do, wear & how you act, but they're not. They're just concerned & they don't understand you.
Anyways, to answer your questions:
[1] Yeah, it's bad to hate your family, and to not be able to stand anyone except your friends. Of course you're not gonna be able to stand certain people, but you have to be able to tolerate them. You don't have to like them, but don't let them phase you. You should always love your family though because they're always gonna be there for you. Your friends could turn and run from you at any moment & completely shut you out, but your family is always gonna love you & be there for you. It doesn't seem that way, but it's the truth.
[2] I know your parents are probably bugging you about things & it seems you can never get them off of your case, but you can. They're just concerned and the more you push them away, the more they're not gonna trust you, or let you do things. And the more they're gonna invade your privacy, or interfere. Just open up to them & let them know how you feel. They're your parents. They made you, so don't ever think that they're not gonna care. They're just concerned, and they've got every right to be. You're their daughter, and you even said your life was fucked up. They can help you.
[3] There's nothing bad about having your best friends over. Just ask your parents why they don't like your friends, and if they don't have a good reason, then maybe your parents should reevalaute themselves. But I see where they're coming from. Gothic kids tend to be depressed, and suicidal. And no parent wants their kids to think that those two things are okay. They're just concerned, but talk to them about it, and if they don't have a reason to not like your friends, then tell them that they obviously can't accept you, and that they need to be open & give people a chance.
[4] If you really like this guy, then ask him out. I realize you're not shy around guys, but maybe you've just never had someone make you feel the way he does. I'm not shy around guys either, but when it comes to a guy I like, I turn to Jello. Just write him a note or ask him to a movie or something. Or just ask him out. Say "I know you like me. You know I like you, let's be together. =)" And then see what happens.
Trust me, your life isn't as fucked up as you think. It'll get better if you give people/things a chance. Trust me. =]
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I am so sorry!
1) As for your family, it is normal for a teenager.Just like you , I used to be a prep, but I thought it was abnoxious, and now I am the happiest i guess you could say "emo" kid ever :). No one can change who you are and/or what you want to be. It is your choice, the ball is in your court. You have to think about the future. In the future, something may happen and you will need your family's support to help you through, because they are the ones that really love you the most. Your mom is just unhappy because she thinks that you are putting your life down the tubes by being with the friends you are with, and how you dress. She only wants the best for you.
2. As for getting them to leave you alone, there is not much you can do. As I said before, they are always going to butt-into your life, but someday you will need them. The just want to help.
3. Relating to what I said before (sorry for repeating myself =x), they do not want your friends to influence you. They think that "oh, I saw them, they dress really scary", then they think that is why you dress the way you do. Explain to them not to be judgemental, because you can not judge a book by its' cover.
4. Next time you see him, just be like "Did you see the advertisement for the.. _________ movie? Or something like that. And if he says yes :
yes- we should go see it! (smile). he will be like - like a date?! and you say- i guess that is what it is called :)
if he says no, he hasnt heard of the movie or whatever- oh! it is supposed to be reallly good! I wanted to see it with someone I like (thats a hint :)). Then just act normal.
I think I answered everything! Hope I helped, and good luck!
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