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humorist-workshop
I'm reliving my shame...
31/m - Sorry for the long story, but I need help.
Many years ago when I was in my early teens I did something very bad. Something society truly frowns upons. But since I was underaged, it was my first offense of any kind, and nobody pressed charges I went to group offenders counseling once a week for 3 years and the offense was striken from my record. My mother and I went together, although with separate counselors, because parents were encouraged to go as well. My father worked. Through this counseling I was able to flourish. I discovered much about why I did the horrible things that I did, and I shared all these discoveries with my mother.
About 8 years ago, my mother died. She was the "glue that held together" our family. Without her nobody knew what went on with any of the other very busy people in my family. After her death, we (my father, my sister, and I) found out many secrets about my mother that she had been keeping for many years. Also, I found out my father and sister knew nothing about the basic facts of my life; my career, my relationship, my phone number, nothing. I know I am to blame too but, naively, I always thought that my mother clued them in.
So, that being said, do you think I should worry about what my father and sister think of me? I'm sure my mother did not tell them about how much I grew from counseling nor the explaination that makes sense of it all. As far as I know, they only know about the horrible offense that I committed with no understanding of why.
But on the other hand, is it at all necessary to talk to my father and sister seeing that I did this over 15 years ago and much, much water has passed under all of our bridges.
What does everyone think?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
hey, well in my opinion i think you should schedule a lunch date with the two of them together. make sure you pay even if they offer. during lunch, talk about how much you`ve changed and the reasons for you doing what you did. family should always come first in life and i can only imagine how happy you will be if you reunite with them.
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This story touched me. I have experienced losses of the same kind and I don't know how you feel but I know how it feels to lose someone. People always say that you shouldn't care what people think about you, but it is different if it is your family. Let your sister and dad know how you feel and how much you have learned from counseling. Please do take this advice into consideration. Not to be nosy but what did you do? E-mail me to tell at little_boy2little@yahoo.com
Please rate,
ALex
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If they know of the offenses, I think it is in your best interest to tell them about your counseling and what good it did for you. They are your family and you want them to think the best of you.
Regardless of what your mom did or didn't share with them, you should tell them about yourself. It will bring you closer together as a family. :)
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