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Shy Guy
Ok, I'll start off by saying I'm in college and I've only really had one real relationship in college that lasted about 6 months. There's this girl across the room in class that I think keeps looking at me and I think is really cute and nice, but we never seem to make eye contact (we have a couple times though). She doesn't have facebook or myspace, so I cant tell if she has a boyfriend or not and I'm too shy to just go up and talk to her. I found out though that she's graduating in May (I'm here for another year), so I have 2 problems; I dont really know what to say to her or how to approach her. And time is of the essence, because I really want to talk to her before she leaves to see if something comes of it. How can I just go up and approach her?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't worry about it too much, worst case scenario, she tells you that she's not interest in doing anything with you, (which almost always beats the "what if" that you'll be thinking about later).
Don't wait for the right moment, it won't happen, make the opportunity yourself. Don't come on to strong either, it sounds like this girl may like you, but even with that said, I doubt she wants her first conversation with you or whatever to be about how much you like her. (If she's interested there will be plenty of time later to tell her that you think she's cute and nice).
Not all girls, but most of them will know whether or not you like them anyways based on your actions/ whether of not you're giving them some attention compared to no attention. I've personally found time and time again that words can be overkill on top of that underlying layer that most guys (me included) can't usually see.
Ask her if she wants to hang out, (and by that I also suggest, that you suggest a place/event and maybe even the time if you can)
(That doesn't mean that she can't suggest something different of course, but at least have a suggestion in case she says "sure, what do you want to do?" or something similar and you're left on the spot with no ideas.)
The main thing to remember is to try your best not to worry about whether she is interest in you (as a friend or something more) when you ask her, (being nervous isn't a very flattering trait).
I'm not going to give you the whole 'life's too short' speech, but realize that life can seem much longer (and not in the good way) if you let your regrets and "what if"s pile up.
You sound like a good guy which can be a definite plus for you in most cases, but only after you get past the barriers and walls you throw up at yourself. Don't worry about what she'll think of you if you ask her and she says 'no' etc; instead, think about how she thinks of you, if she thinks you might like her but don't have the courage to ask her even to just hang out.
Don't be a pessimist.
Realize that you're taking a chance either way, and that you have a better odd of her at the very least hanging out with you if you ask her, than if you do nothing and wonder 'what if'.
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Winston Churchill.
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Please... Don't try using a pick-up line. Most of the time... Pick-up lines just sound lame or insincere. And I wouldn't suggest flattery either... Just because flattery is by nature insincere.
How about the straight-foward approach? "Hi. My name is <insert your name here>. And you are...??" *Offer hand to shake.* "I've noticed you and I was wondering if you would be interested in grabbing a cup of coffee sometime?"
And you'll probably be nervous... Because what if she has a boyfriend or just says, "No?" Don't sweat it. Even if she isn't attracted to you, doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other girls in the world that are. ;)
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Why don't you ask her to join you and some friends for a coffee one day. If she accepts you can then start chatting about college or general interests. If she refuses (a) because you asked her to join a group - then ask her alone or (b) she already has a boyfriend. I know how difficult it can be as a shy person but try pretending to be an actor and imagine how they would act/talk. Obviously you don't need to emulate them but try taking some courage from their on-screen persona. Good luck.
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