|
Abusive relationship?
**I hit my boyfriend yesterday, i didnt mean to hit him that hard. I slapped him in the face really hard, left a mark, plus it was really loud.
**I did it out of anger and surprise, we've been going out forever, but it really was stupid of me to overreact that way.
**He called me fat- kinda, he used the word "plump" which i hate.
**So, I was really pissed for a while and after school I realized that he was too. Instead of stopping where we usually do to hang out, he sped up kinda walking in front of me and didnt hold my hand. Then he looked back and saw that i was hur and was all sweet and comforting, but somehow I was still mad him.
**On the phone, he said that he was only joking and that I took him too seriously. I said I was sorry today.
**I've been in a really bad abusive realtionship before and its nothing like the way I treat my boyfriend, sometimes he'll say "You're abusive" and it really makes me mad because Im weaker and hardly ever hit him. My ex used to punch, kick, cut, and rape me, so slapping my boyfriend a few times when he's being a jerk doesnt phase me as abuse.
Today: He was working and its my little bros 6th bday. I was really busy when he called on his break to talk to me, he could tell I was busy, it was loud and there was a lot of commotion so he was like "you sound busy." and I told him I was and had to go he said "OK" but sounded kinda mad about it. So iwas like bye, Ilove you, but all I heard was a click. I know he didnt hear me say Bye and I love you or he would have responded. But he didnt say bye or I love you to me like he ALWAYS does.
***So, finally, here's my question: How do I get out of this "abusive" cycle, and is it really abusive? Do you think he's still mad at me, he's the best thing ive ever had and i never want to lose or hurt him.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I guess you are a bit abusive and there a ways of dealing with it.You've been through sooo much before,with being raped and stuff, that's where you've picked it up,does your current bf know about this??Explain to him and tell him you do love him,it's just your worried your going to lose him and your just so upset because of your previous relationship.If your angry just take some breaths and get stress ball,keep a blog and diary and get that stress out.
]
I don't think he's the one that's abusive. I think it's you. You've been abused so much by your ex boyfriends, that you picked up from it, and you're not even phased by it. And you don't see it as abuse. It is. You need to stop it, and learn to control yourself. If you keep hitting your boyfriend, he's not gonna stick around for long.
Just talk to him about it & let him know that you're sorry for what you did. And that it'll never happen again. And next time you feel like you're gonna hit him, just walk away until you calm down.
]
I don't think your really being abusive, most of this sounds like misunderstandngs and miscommunicaton. Next time your alone with your bf, talk to him about it all. Apologize for your behavior if it hurt him at all, and talk to him about what hurts you. Try to reach an understanding and make your relationship better. But to avoid things like this, think about things before you do them. I promise it will help.
Good luck!
-Abby
]
Hon. It's not the same as what you have been through, but it does sound to me as if you're being abusive. You need to learn to control your anger. Of course, your boyfriend may have been acting like a prick, but that's a reason to tell him off, not to slap him. Call a domestic abuse hotline or get anger management and counseling if you want your relationship (or any future ones) to work because the guy who beat you left a lasting mark on you. You now think it's okay to "hardly ever hit him." It's not. You need to work on getting out of the cycle of abuse that was started with you previous boyfriend. Although I admire you for having come this far, you have not yet escaped completely.
Sabine
]
i know you have been in a bad relationship before i would talk to him about that first and then try to find another way other than striking him that hes getting you mad and he might think its abusive to him i would talk 2 him about that 2
]
More Questions: |