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over and done?
my ex boyfriend adn i were really close. i lived with him wehn i got kicked out adn everything. it was great. we had fights but we got over them. now theres a restraining order and its all screwed up. he would go to jail if he was caught talking to me. and he does if i call him. but he complains the whole time. we argue but talk. i dont know. its hard to explain. i love him adn he says he loves me, but in the past he has hurt me very badly. i want to get over him. he has a new gf adn im trying to find someone. but they dont seem to compare to him. i miss him. he told me on the phone tonight that i need to prove he won't get into trouble, how do i do that. adn how will he know. then in 3 or 4 months we can see where it goes. what the hell. should i try to be with him or not
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I'm going to be honest with you -- this guy doesn't deserve you! If there is a restraining order against him, and he has hurt you in the past as well, what makes him such a great guy (even as a friend)?
As a boyfriend, he shouldn't have hurt you. Of course, we all have our little arguments every now and then, but this is different. Especially, with a restraining order. You deserve to be with a guy who will treat you with respect, not hurt you physically (I'm assuming this is what happened), and treat you as you truly deserve.
I urge you to stop talking to him, and if you can't move on to another guy right now, that's okay. And completely understandable, it's true what they say -- you can't get over one guy by going after another. The thing you have to do is get away from this guy, stay with people who really love you and are a good support system. If you find a good guy along the way (I'm sure you will!), then that's great and go with that. Just be sure that the guy is treating you as you deserve, not like this guy who has a restraining order against him. He's not worth your time, please move on and get away from this guy -- for your emotional, mental and physical being.
You wanted my advice, and this is the absolute best I can give you. I hope you take this advice, even though it may have not been what you wanted to hear. I wish you the best of luck! :)
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I disagree with the first advisor. He has hurt you in the past and there's a restraining order. That leads us to believe that he hurt you physically. That's not something that a man does to a woman he loves. If he loves you, then he will leave you alone because unless he goes through some counseling and anger management courses, he will likely just get to a point where he gets mad and the cycle of abuse starts all over again. Why do YOU have to prove ANYTHING to him? He's the one with the restraining order. If he isn't trying through legitimate avenues to get you back, then he does not love you in the way you deserve. Move on, honey, and don't look back! This is not a healthy relationship for you. It's better to be alone than to be together and miserable. Think of the good feelings and the good times and keep them in your heart before your fighting (which you admit still goes on) ruins even the memories of him.
Sabine
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I don't think you should be with him. I mean, yes he was probably your first love, & it's gonna seem like no one else is good enough or compares to him, but that's not the case. There are plenty of other guys out there for you who won't hurt you. There's a restraining order for a reason. Find yourself a good boyfriend.
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i dont think you should be with him
if he loved you he wouldnt care whats going on with the law he would try to see you and everything
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