|
my screwed up life
13f. this is long srry. i cant get a therapist. i just need advice. i have nobody else to talk to. i am totaly different at school and home. at home i am so mad all the time at school i am just either acting happy at least tryin or i am when i talk to him exept when someone gets me mad. i have never got detention i never get in truoble and no i will not be a snitch. nobody understands me at all anymore. i have no idea who my real friends are. ive been in every clique. my mom gets so mad at me when i wear black or chokers. but i useally do but when she wont let me i cry bc its all i feel good about. nobody at all has seen me cry exept my mom and brother my mom even said i didnt cry that much at all even when i was a baby. is something wrong with me. again srry no therapist. im shy but im starten to get louder. i get along with anybody. bc i only have 1 real friend at least i think? hes a guy hes been kinda close for about 7 years. he used to come over but now my mom found out i loved him and he loved me. but i think it was bc hes all i have. so he could never come over or i could never go over we couldnt see each other. but we would 'casually' hehe meeting w/ alot of people at the mall. he used to actually say best friend so i thought he realy was my bff. but is he just sorry for me. we havent been as close since i am so deppressed. hes a blonde dumb nerd lol we joke about that. im kinda in the group of all the gothic people who everyone hates. i never really talk to guys exept him and other guys who hate me and i hate them seriosly hate they would like come up and call me like a bitch or kick me then i do try and like kill they practically. if someone makes me really mad theyd regret it. i have knocked the air out of like 3 people. but not at school. i have enamies. whenever i think i have a friend they always turn out fake. ive been acting so deppressed lately. every1 says im gothic BUT IM NOT! atleast i dont think. i dont wear chains i dont dress all black usually jeans and black shirt and ALOT of jewelry. me and my mom dont get along. i have no chores ppl say im spoiled. and i just hate my life. any advice on..
what im deppressed about. if it was real love.
if hes a real friend. was he just sorry for me at first. whats wrong with me. am i gothic. how to become friends with all my old friends. why every1 hates me. why our parents wont let us see eachother i told my mom i didnt love him anymore he was just my only friend then she just got mad. and anyothers i forgot that i wrote at the top. no therapist or phyciatrist or whatever. ~help me~
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hey Random,
First of all I just want to say that what you are experiencing is COMPLETELY NORMAL and happens to more people than you think. Seventh to eighth grade was definately one of the WORST experiences of my life, and many people that I know. I hate to sound like an old school teacher or something, but one of the main reasons for this is that this is basically the years that everyone starts going through puberty and realizes that they have more freedom in choosing an identity. More than half of your class is probably feeling "different" in a lot of ways, and trying to establish themselves. I think that one of the main reasons why you are depressed is because of all these changes happening around you. The people who were your friends, probably aren't anymore because they are changing and trying to understand who they are. I can assure you that not everyone hates you, and that there are definately people that you could be friends with, you just haven't met them yet. You yourself are changing as well, and trying to establish yourself, you show that by wearing black and trying to express yourself through clothes and jewelry. People tend to show that in different ways. I don't understand why your parents won't let you see this boy or hang out with him, and I think that is VERY wrong and unfair of them. Have you ever asked them why you can't see him? Maybe you should just sit your mother down and tell her how sad you are feeling, and she would act differently. There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are not gothic, and you need to make new friends. It seems like you are carrying A LOT of anger around, and you really need to talk to someone and get that out. No matter how badly someone treats you, you should NEVER hurt them...and you are expressing your anger in the wrong ways. Schools tend to have therapists there that you can talk to, and I really think that it would be beneficial for you to go talk to one there, or to talk to your parents about seeing one. The only other thing that I can do here is promise you that it will get better, with time and effort. You will find friends and you will be happier later on.
I hope I helped you.
]
to answer all your questions im gonna list them below
*yes he is a real friend
*at first he wasn't sorry for you at first he wanted to be your friend then evolved to your best friend
*no your not gothic.ppl think the same thing with me cuz i wear alot of black n belt chains but im not gothic i just like the color black
*you don't need your old friends.if they left you without a good logical reason then you can't even call them friends.they probably left you cause they were starting to believe you were gothic real friends don't care what you are if they like you as a friend.
*everyone hates you cause your old so called friends or someone else started a rumor about you,but found a way to keep it from getting to you so you don't hurt them.when someone bother you don't try to kill them cause that'll get you in trouble with the law just beat the crap out of them or until they know not to mess with you again.
*your parents won't let you guys see each other cause they don't want you to come home one day and say your pregnant.a parents worst nightmare is their kid getting pregnant when they still have to legally support them.your mom don't believe that you don't love him cause yall were so close and your mom got mad when you said he was your only friend cause she don't want to believe it every mom want their daughter to have either alot of friends or at least one friend of the same gender.
*your probably depressed on the matter that you want your old friends back and your mom don't want you to see your only friend.your depression will get better just forget all the people that hate you forget the people that was your friends and deserted you and focus on you and having fun with your friend........hope i helped
]
i can relate like 100% with this story. My best guy friend (who i still like) i dun know if i was in love with him but i liked him sssoooo much and still kinda do. hes just so awesome and a nerd(lol we have so many jokes together) i know wat its like to have a screwed up life. i am always depressed, my parents say ive changed. i started wearing black eyeliner and black shirts(with jeans usually) where as before i wasn't like this at all. i hate my home most of the time, my parents dont let me do anything i want they just wanna control me, wont let me see my guy friend either...it pretty much sux. and at skool i try to act happy, random people come up to me and say im emo and it pisses me off!! there are things that NOBODY knows about me and im tired of people telling me wat i should do or what the hell im supposed to act like. my parents think im crazy. i have worn chokers too and the people i hang out with are just like me, well they are "different". i dun care what people think anymore. honestly i dun know why im depressed i just feel happy sometimes, and then i feel really sad. nobody sees me cry i cry in my room at night sometimes. all i can say is you should try to be you and not let anyone try to change you. if your old friends dont wanna be with you then they dont deserve to. its weird the way people hate other people just because they are not the same. i dont wanna be the same. i dont know who i am. im just me and i could care less about everyone else. be with people that understand you, not with the ones that wanna change you or think you are not good enough or whatever. have fun with the friends that make you laugh and if you wanna see this guy friend of yours then you are just gonna have to meet up with him secretly. like at the mall with a group of friends. hope i helped a little. i completely get wat its like to want a therapist. i need one. because sometimes it seems like no one else understands or even cares. but im ok. and you should be too.
SAM
]
More Questions: |