Member Since: March 4, 2007
Answers: 1
Last Update: March 4, 2007
Visitors: 984
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13f. this is long srry. i cant get a therapist. i just need advice. i have nobody else to talk to. i am totaly different at school and home. at home i am so mad all the time at school i am just either acting happy at least tryin or i am when i talk to him exept when someone gets me mad. i have never got detention i never get in truoble and no i will not be a snitch. nobody understands me at all anymore. i have no idea who my real friends are. ive been in every clique. my mom gets so mad at me when i wear black or chokers. but i useally do but when she wont let me i cry bc its all i feel good about. nobody at all has seen me cry exept my mom and brother my mom even said i didnt cry that much at all even when i was a baby. is something wrong with me. again srry no therapist. im shy but im starten to get louder. i get along with anybody. bc i only have 1 real friend at least i think? hes a guy hes been kinda close for about 7 years. he used to come over but now my mom found out i loved him and he loved me. but i think it was bc hes all i have. so he could never come over or i could never go over we couldnt see each other. but we would 'casually' hehe meeting w/ alot of people at the mall. he used to actually say best friend so i thought he realy was my bff. but is he just sorry for me. we havent been as close since i am so deppressed. hes a blonde dumb nerd lol we joke about that. im kinda in the group of all the gothic people who everyone hates. i never really talk to guys exept him and other guys who hate me and i hate them seriosly hate they would like come up and call me like a bitch or kick me then i do try and like kill they practically. if someone makes me really mad theyd regret it. i have knocked the air out of like 3 people. but not at school. i have enamies. whenever i think i have a friend they always turn out fake. ive been acting so deppressed lately. every1 says im gothic BUT IM NOT! atleast i dont think. i dont wear chains i dont dress all black usually jeans and black shirt and ALOT of jewelry. me and my mom dont get along. i have no chores ppl say im spoiled. and i just hate my life. any advice on..
what im deppressed about. if it was real love.
if hes a real friend. was he just sorry for me at first. whats wrong with me. am i gothic. how to become friends with all my old friends. why every1 hates me. why our parents wont let us see eachother i told my mom i didnt love him anymore he was just my only friend then she just got mad. and anyothers i forgot that i wrote at the top. no therapist or phyciatrist or whatever. ~help me~ (link)
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Hey Random,
First of all I just want to say that what you are experiencing is COMPLETELY NORMAL and happens to more people than you think. Seventh to eighth grade was definately one of the WORST experiences of my life, and many people that I know. I hate to sound like an old school teacher or something, but one of the main reasons for this is that this is basically the years that everyone starts going through puberty and realizes that they have more freedom in choosing an identity. More than half of your class is probably feeling "different" in a lot of ways, and trying to establish themselves. I think that one of the main reasons why you are depressed is because of all these changes happening around you. The people who were your friends, probably aren't anymore because they are changing and trying to understand who they are. I can assure you that not everyone hates you, and that there are definately people that you could be friends with, you just haven't met them yet. You yourself are changing as well, and trying to establish yourself, you show that by wearing black and trying to express yourself through clothes and jewelry. People tend to show that in different ways. I don't understand why your parents won't let you see this boy or hang out with him, and I think that is VERY wrong and unfair of them. Have you ever asked them why you can't see him? Maybe you should just sit your mother down and tell her how sad you are feeling, and she would act differently. There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are not gothic, and you need to make new friends. It seems like you are carrying A LOT of anger around, and you really need to talk to someone and get that out. No matter how badly someone treats you, you should NEVER hurt them...and you are expressing your anger in the wrong ways. Schools tend to have therapists there that you can talk to, and I really think that it would be beneficial for you to go talk to one there, or to talk to your parents about seeing one. The only other thing that I can do here is promise you that it will get better, with time and effort. You will find friends and you will be happier later on.
I hope I helped you.
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