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depressed
This will be verry long, but please bear with me and help.. I am desperate for advice right now..
I feel like there is no reason for me to live anymore. The past week my friends have stood me up and lied to me. My mom is a huge alcoholic so all she does is yell at me (like now), blaming me for her personal problems. My dad is always angry at me. I never know why, actually. I am always doing something that makes him mad. Whenever I have something to say, nobody listens. Usually they later regret it but that doesn't stop from ignoring me again. Also, my cousin cheerfully (at least it seemed like it) said I am invited to her birthday party. It would be a huge blast since she just turned 18. She said she would tell me when to get there.. but later after asking she never responded back, because she never told me. So she went without me. First of all, this meant SOO much to me because I haven't seen her in months, so I was looking forward to it.
She also did this a few other times so I wouldn't consider it an accident. She never wants to take me anywhere.
It's the same with my friends. I post bulletins on Myspace, saying how hurt I am or something, and nobody cares to reply back. You'd think out of 100 friends, one of them would, right? No.
I feel hated, betrayed, and lied to. I feel like I am everyone's punching bag.
I am mentally ill, actually. I have attempted suicide numerous times, once ending up in the ER. I get panic attacks and mental breakdowns. I do see my school counselor, but all she can do is calm me down. She doesn't help the problem, she just helps the way I feel. But I want the problem to be helped because all it does is it gets worse. I am sick and tired of being treated all crappy. I do nice things for people but the favor is never returned. Usually I don't expect any to be but I never get one returned.
My parents refuse to get me to a Psychologist. The most I can do right now is school counseling. I live in a crappy city so there is no shelters nearby or anything.
I want to die. I want to be gone. I am sure if I do die, everyone will be happy because right now everyone just gets mad at me for no reason. I have done nothing wrong, but I blame mysef everyday for just existing.
What can I do?? PLEASE HElP!!=[
ps - please don't ignore this because I know this site gets many questions about depression and suicide, and I know I am annoying you people for adding on to it. But I am ill, and I need help. Thanks.
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Get your self some Niacin you can get it at any GNC or vitamin shop.
It is why suicidal patients get better. Look it up.
Its your only option Most people will be totally cured from depression im a matter of weeks.
I have tried every thing there is and this is the only thing that works.
Dont stop taking it. With out Niacin it is impossible to get better.
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Hunny, dont kill yourself. Suicide is taking the easy way out of life. I dont know exactly all you're problems and how you handle them but i can make a promise to you, that eventually things will get better, and you just have to believe they do. I sometimes go through a lot of problems all at once, and maybe they may not be as bad as yours, but i just hang in there until there over. And its okay to cry, and feel depressed, and hurt and lost. No body can tell you how you should feel, and sometimes we can't even help it. But hang in there, because one day you wont be living with your parents and you dont have to take there verbal abuse, and you`ll be out of school and you`ll be able to do what you want, and work on the things you need in life. And you are not a doormat, so dont let people walk all over you, every person in life i believe should be treated with respect and never taken for granted. If you are a good person to the people you love and care about, and they dont show as much emotion as you show then thats okay, you are the better person and you do deserve more. Also you may think that if you commit suicide that everyone will be happier and okay with it, we`ll you're wrong. Because wether you're parents yell at you or not they still love you with everything they have. And maybe people dont respond to bulletins cuz they dont know how to express how they feel towards you, but i bet everyone of them cares about you. And once your gone you will not be able to experiences all the postive things life has to offer. Not everything will be easy, there are obstacles you will have to face, but just be who you are, and if you really think you need to see a doctor then tell a relative and sit down and talk with them and see if they can convince your parents, because you deserve help. Or simply open up to a friend more, because friends have the best advice to offer, and no matter what they are always there for you. If you need any more advice, feel free to message me alright?
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first i want you to know i cant help you at all. i have absuloutly no idea what you might be feeling. i cant ever begin to try to relate. i do understand what it feels like to be walked all over. it totally sucks. you wish you can change the world, and you really really want to change the way people act, but you cant. you feel angry and defenseless and ive been there. but it does get better. you cant change the way people act but you can change how it affectts you. maybe ask your school counsler if she has any friends who would be your therapist for free. then your parents wouldent have to know. or have your counsler talk your parents into getting you a therapist. you need to talk to sumone who can help you. It seems like forever until these problems go away, because somtimes they never really do, but you can suround yourself with people who love and care about you and who make you forget about the problems.
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I'm not going to ignore you because I understand. My parents were mentally and physically abusive. In high school I used my school counselor like a psyschologist too. Glad she was there and you are doing the right thing by seeing her. She has experience in these matters.
don't understand why your parents would refuse to get you a psychologist after your suicide attempts. Perhaps if you school counselor would recommend it your parents would listen. I have known people who have tried to kill themselves and ended up on a 72 hour mandatory stay in the psychiatric ward. However, I do not recommend nor do I want you to try to kill yourself again. I assure you, no one would be happy you were gone. Your mom would probably bitch about having to pay for the funeral.
Even when you do nice things for people it certainly doesn't mean they will go out of there way to do anything nice for you. Unfortunately that's the way people are. Most people are takers but not givers.
Your mom is an alcoholic so don't expect her to help you. She's to busy being a drunk. That's why she's always screaming at you. She has an addiction problem. It's not your fault she screams.
ever hear that song by Eric Clapton entitled No one loves you when you're down and out? Basically some people just can't be bothered to be around some one who is depressed. It brings them down.
I did not get the professional help I needed until I was 18 and moved out of my parents house.
By chance is there a free clinic close to your home? If so go there. Do you have grandparents? if so go there.
If you feel like a punching bag I think you should get your own punching bag and hit it when ever you want. I had one hanging in my closet until I recently moved.
You are not annoying people by asking for help.
please don't try to commit suicide again. I know things are bad right now but you have a future.
Send me a private message and I will give you me private e mail. You can get through this. Think of it as a dark cloud or a storm and remember that after every storm there is a rainbow.
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I don't find these types of questions annoying at all. I've asked them & answered them before, so I honestly think I can help. I like answering these though, because I've been through it, so I think I can guide you a bit.
I'm like you. I do nice things for people, & I never expect them to return the favor. And I don't usually care if they do, but your friends walk all over you. They continually have you do these nice things for you, & then do nothing for in return. Also, they don't listen to you, but then when they regret it, they do it again. Your friends aren't even sorry. I'd confront them, and give them another week to 2 weeks. If it doesn't change, find some new friends. Believe it or not, there are people who actually care about you, but you haven't discovered them yet. Do that.
If nobody bothers to reply, then maybe they don't read the bulletin, or maybe they do & are too shy to say anything. But they sound like they don't care, so when they post those bulletins, don't reply to them & see how they like it.
For your mom's alcohol problem, there is no way to change that. If your mother wants to change & stop drinking, then she'll do it, but you can't make her change/stop. Suicide might seem like the answer, but it's not & it never is. It's taking the easy way out & you should never give up, quit or run from your problems. Facing them is the correct thing to do, just like you'd face your fears. Face your problems. As for your dad, ask him why he's upset with you. Maybe he's aggressive & doesn't really show his emotions, so it always seems like he's pissed. My dad's like that, and hardly ever shows me affection. So I know exactly how you feel. Talk to him about it & let him know what's going on with you. You & your parents aren't close, so try to be & see if things will change. If not, try & find somebody else to live with. Your grandparents perhaps? Or maybe an aunt or an uncle?
School counseling doesn't work, and I'd know. My counselor never helped me with my cutting problems. No matter what, I'd always keep doing it because I seen her every other week, & I needed constant counseling. Who knows what problems could arise in the every other week mark, right?
Anyways, for your cousin, just don't talk to her. She seems like such a bitch [no offense], but if she really wanted to invite you, she would've given you the information you needed, and she's done this to you before, so she's obviously doing it purposely. Confront her, and if it doesn't change, then it's just whatever. Don't talk to her about it.
Confront your counselor too. Ask her for solutions to your problems. They're there to calm you down, but they're also there to help come up with solutions or techniques to help you with things.
But please, don't do anything to yourself. I know suicide seems like the thing to do right now, but it's not. It's gonna make you think "Well, if I do this, then maybe someone'll care." but you're wrong. It's not the way. Honestly, I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you're young, & not an adult. Still a teenager, basically. But, you've got your WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. Why jeopardize that because of other people? They don't matter that much for you to try & take your life. You could be anything you want. You can find the cure for cancer, or AIDS, but we'll never know what you're capable of if you take your life. Continue to live, it's the best thing to do.
If you'd like to talk more, then leave your sn in my inbox, or the feedback. I'd love to help you some more if it's possible. =)
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first of all..i know that times can get rough..and i know that for some people it can seem like all of the time, ot it is all of the time..i don't know exactly what to tell you, but im gonna do my best to help you, im glad that you are talking to your school guidence counseler..if your parents won't listen to you when you try to tell them how you feel then try writing them a note telling them how you feel and what is bothering you and put it where they won't miss it...with your friends, go to the people that you think are your best friends and tell them personal how you feel, not just on myspace, i want you to remember that even when i seems like no one cares you have God and he will always care, and even that i don't know you, i do care, and please don't EVER try to commit suicide...and i am sure that there are many people that would be very sad if anything ever happened to you. im not sure what else i can tell you, and i know that i may not have been much help, but please if you want to talk to me about anything please email me at baseballgirl43@yahoo.com because i will not ignore you, and i will do my best to help you in anyway that i can...hope i helped
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i dont think it's annoying that people are trying to get help. we think myspace questions are annoying, but suicidal questions are very serious.have you told your schoool councilor about your parents refusing to let you go to a Physcologist? if you haven't maybe she/he could help you get to one. If you have grandparents or Aunts or uncles that would consider taking you in i would ask, because it sounds like your parents don't make the situation any easier. These people don't sound very friend like if they KNOW you're problems, and then just blow you off and make it harder. so i would deffinitely find new friends. If your school councilor knows about your parents being alcoholic/verbally abusive, then she should tell a principal or social services or something because it sounds your parents are partially the blame for your problem. maybe you could check your self into the physciactric ward at a hospital, they can also help you with that. I know sometimes it just seems the world would be happier without you, but you have to hang in there and know someone cares about you and soon you will be able to move out of your parents house and go off on your own to be happier and start new relationships and a family of your own. Maybe you should find a new hobby to take your mind off things. maybe learn how to play guitar so you can write down your feelings in songs. I hope you hang in there and fing better friends!
hope i helped =>
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