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friend overreacting? or was i just being too insensitive?
13/f
(the first part is background that i think could relate. the second is my actual problem) sorry for the length...
PART 1
ok well this girl elizabeth i had been friends with her since like 2nd grade im in 8th now with fights and temporary splits here and there....but one time on this one chat site she called me a B**** for no reason and then just left and kept doing it if i asked for an explanation. the next day at school during lunch she said she didn't eman it and WAS JUST JOKEING. i mean COME ON. i didnt forgive her because i don't take stuff liek that as a joke, so after a day or so she comes to my house in tears with a card tat says SORRY and a small present. i forgave her.....grudgeingly. ok well then we got along ok but then...
PART TWO
ok well i was at another friends house and i was really mad for some reason or another and i called elizabeth fat. she isn't really fat just a little....well porportioned. so this oher friend told her later ( ididn't mean for her to) and elizabeth got all mad. WELL she got all mad and she understands that i didn't mean it.....i relaly truely didn't....and now she doesn't want to be friends anymore and won't forgive me which i don't think is fair because she really hurt my feelings with the part 1 thing....but i didn't have to forgive her, but i did. and there were other things she did that i didn't want to forgive her for doing.
what should i do? she has made it very clear via myspcae that she doesn't want to be friends. yes she told me.. i don't think its fair. do you think it is?
sorry for the length.....
thanks in advance!
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I don't think what either of you said was very nice at all, but I do think she's being hypocritical by reacting like that. I can understand her taking the 'fat' comment to heart if she truly was joking before. If she is a little overweight, I can definitely see how calling her fat would shake her confidence and really upset her; a comment about someone's appearance (with something they are perhaps a little insecure about) will hurt a lot more than what she expects calling you a bitch did to you.
Have you explained to her that you did not take what she said before as a joke and that she seriously did hurt you? If you haven't, do, and try and work it out from there.
If you have, and she's still like that then she needs to get off her high-horse, if I'm honest. Let it cool down a bit, and then approach her again.
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Hey. I had a really similair situation once. My friend did a lot of little things like the part 1 thing and finally I just got really mad. No, it's not really fair because she pretty much did the same thing to you in a different version and you forgave her. It also sounds like she's done other things like that so maybe you should be the one who's mad if this is true. Your friend sounds like she is really sensative so she probably gets upset a lot easier which is why she started crying when you were mad and her and got really upset when she found out about what you said. I wouldn't try to end the friendship over things like this but if she constantly does little things like this to you then you might want to take a break from eachother. It may work out for the better and eventually I'm sure she'll come around because time heals all wounds. Then, if you feel like you still want to be friends you can talk to her about how you felt also, and make up. The relationship doesn't have to be as close but at least you guys can be cordial. OR if you're really upset right now and want to tell her how you feel you can write back to her over the computer and tell her what you told advicenators. How she's done similair things to you and you always apologized right away and you're just tired of these little episodes. You don't have to say it mean or anything but it will get your point accross. But anyways, in final answer to your original question, no I agree with you, it's not fair. I really hope this helped! =)
Chrissabelle<3
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If you can forgive her that easy, I'm pretty sure she should be able to do the same for you. You guys have been friends for so long, it's normal to split up, or fight, but to throw away a friendship over a stupid comment? It's not really worth it. Remind her of all the great times you guys have had, all the inside jokes & late night slumber parties. It's dumb to just throw away a 6 year friendshp because you called her fat & she called you a bitch. Explain that to her.
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