|
i care too much
Okay well i'm 15 and i have been going out with my boyfriend for a little over 4 months now, and i love him with all my heart.. i really do. he's like an amazing boyfriend. he's so good to me. it's just like.. well he's like other guys and i don't understand. he tells me how much he cares about me & stuff but he doesnt show it all the time. we always fight about this & he says i only care about myself.. but i think that like if he cares, why can't he show it?! i mean he does show it.. but not as much as i want. i mean this is my first realllll boyfriend and i know i have very high expectations but idk what to do.. basically i've fallen too too hard for him. every day i cry on the phone with him over stupid things like if he ignores me a few times, or i think he's mad at me but is saying he isn't i'll think he's lying.. or if he forgets to call me especially. i'm so sick of getting hurt. i want to still be in love with him, but i need to stop caring so freaking much.. does anyone know how this is possible? like i tried giving us space & stuff but nothing works my weakness is i care too much... someone help me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Haha wow it looks like I wrote this question. Well it's really hard to not care as much, but the most you can do is try. I used to get so upset that I'd threaten to break up with him, but obviously not do it. It's really hard to love someone so much, then stop caring as much..it's almost impossible. I think that after awhile, it'll start to mess with your head..such as all the fighting and crying and whatnot. You'll probably feel like you're starting to lose feelings. Does this guy yell at you a lot for caring and getting upset? I don't know if this question is asking whether to get him to care for you more, or to get you to care less. I think that you need to tell him how it feels like he barely cares about you or just doesn't care about how things are going. Ask him to maybe call you when he says he will, or don't say he'll call at all. Try to get him to make some of the decisions whether to call or not, or talk to you online or whatever. That way, you DEFINITELY should be expecting a call, and that's when you have the right to get somewhat upset. DO NOT give in to him all the time either. You need to have some control in the relationship because what seems to happen when one person cares too much is that they turned whipped. That's when the relationship basically turns to shit because someone gets controlling and you don't want that. I mean it's okay for you to care, because I do the same thing, like cry when I get frustrated with him or when it feels like he doesn't even care about the relationship. It'll be really hard, but try to get a tiny bit less clingy little be little, but if the fighting keeps happening along with the crying, it WILL take its toll and will make you start to lose feelings as unbelievable as it sounds. I hopppppeee I helped a little bit at least lol. Good Luck and tell me how things go :)
]
I understand were your coming from. First loves are really hard but, you have to understand that sometimes its hard for males regardless of their age to show their feelings. Try to be understanding of where he's coming from and try to be patient. As far as not caring so much this is a very hard lessen everyone eventually has to learn you can't force yourself to love someone less no matter how much you want too. I hope this helps you and if you need anything feel free to drop me an email.
sister katelyn
]
well..i think we have something in common..i feel the same way most of the time about my guy... i know it sucks, and it hurts... but what helps me and gets him to give me more attention is to first never forget that hes lucky to be with you, more so than you are w/ him... and look really really hot to school like where a miniskirt or something and do your hear really cute but look natural.. not so it looks like you tried really hard... and kinda ignoor him like be happy and laugh and smile but dont focus all of your attention on him... like if your at school and he comes up to talk to you say hi and be nice but be more interested in your friends conversations or something (maybe fill them in on it so they know how to act <-not a big deal though) and if other guys say stuff to you for looking good say hi and smile back... be urself, be really happy, look really cute, and dont set him as ur first priority..... he will notice and he will give you alot more attention or show that he likes you becasue im sure all of his friends will be talking (dude your girlfriend is sooo hot) lol..... it will buy you some time.... oh and one thing else... if he forgets to call you, "forget" to call him back, or purposly dont answer the phone, the last thing you want is to let him think that he is in control of the relationship becasue it will be hard in the long run to not get hurt in some way... hope i helped tell me how it goes!
]
Heyy..i think you should just relax..really! He really cares about you too..let him show it! Instead of you crying/getting upset..just chill and let it go. You have to learn to let go of the little things that annoy you about him ..especially if this is going to be a long term relationship. Think how lucky you are to have him..he could prob have other girls.but he wants to be with you! :) So next time you start to get upset..think about that and let it go. I hope this helped..feel free to IM me at eatapasty if you want to talk more in detail
-melissa
]
More Questions: |