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friend=abused.
Ok, i have this friend thats a girl, lets call her jan. and my friend that is her boyfriend's name can be bob.
Okay, Jan and bob have been together around 3 months, and suposibly they are in "love." Well theres just one thing. Bob is verbally abusing jan. Every time jan tries to talk to her friends or hang with them bob gets mad. every time jan talks to other guys, bob gets mad. Bob is trying to get all of jans friends turned against her so that he can have her all to himself.
example:
one night bob and jan were at a school dance. jan started talking to her friends, and not just to bob. Bob gets really mad, goes and gets his stuff and says im leaving. Jan tries to stop him, and says well im not going with you, im not letting you ruin my night. but finally bob stays. well for part of the rest of the night jan was all over bob, he was just fine. then jan started talking to her friends again, bob gets mad. and this is what always happens.
ok so clearly, bob is verbally, and emotionally abusing jan. Jan doesnt realize this because she loves bob of course. Ok, i am jans best friend and i dont want her relationship to go on and on like this. i want to get her to realize it. Bob is going to get all of her friends turned on her and leave her with nothing. If i talk to Jan, she is going to get mad and blow me off, just the way bob wants it to be. if it goes on the relationship could turn physical. and i dont want this to happen.
since im her best friend i feel like i should do something about it. I know its not really any of my business but i cant stand whats happening to her.
HELP! what should i do?
(sorry so long)
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i know exactly how you feel, i actually have a friend who is in almost the same predictament i think that you need to make her realize just how bad things are for herself, but that doesn't mean to just sit back and watch her ruin her life. you need to talk to her, pull her aside, if that means showing up at her house at 11:00 pm then fine, but you need to find a time when she is not being watched by him and that he won't be able to interfer. Continually talking to her will help evetually, but over worring will only push her away, you need to find an equal balance of support but she needs to see it for herself.
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you said if you talk to her about it she will get mad and thats what bob wants. mabye you do need to talk to her about it. just ask casually " whyd he get mad the other day when we hung out?" if she gets mad shell be with bob more often and mabye shell relize she doesnt like being with him? hope i helped! PS if things get to extreems with bob and jan take it into your own hands. tell a school consoluer that your friend is being abused. hope i helped out.
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Hey whats up,
Firstly, I have to admit that Bob does really love Jan, but its just because some people have this certain attitude of their own, that when they love someone so much , they are just so scared that they would lose this person, so they get mad when he spends time with others and hangs out with other people and stuff. And here Bob, is clearly so madly inlove with her, thats why he wants her all for himself, but he's handing the situation the wrong way when he verbally and emotionally abuses her.
Secondly, a relationship with no respect can never be called a relationship. And if Jan, no offense, had any dignity or self-respect of her own, she would have noticed so, but she's probably too blinded by his love.
Therefore, you should try to talk to her and grab her attention to the way he's mistreating her and turning her over her friends, and tell her that your her best friend and you only care for her and her feelings, and tell her that he doesn't treat her with the respect that she deserves. And maybe she would listen to you, but even if she did blow you off, she would still listen and think of what you said, trust me. So tell her and give her sometime, and she would start to notice his actions on her own and notice how disrespectful he is with her.
So consider what i said, and go talk to her ,because after thats where best friends should take an action.
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