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Feeling left out
I have these 2 friends, lets call them casey and sarah, well me and casey used to live practically in the same neiborhood. I was always spending the night over her house or going out to the movies with her, or just having great times with her. Sarah was one of are really good friends to, she started out liking me more than casey and wanted to be my friend more than casey's, then everything changed. She started to change and wanted to become friends with Casey more. Well suddenly Sarah invited herself to casesys church and has become a member with her. Casey began telling me how annoying sarah was because she kept inviting herself over casey's house, this sounds so bad but i was happy because i knew that this way casey would still like me better. then Casey stopped talking about Sarah and they began hanging out more trhey would call each other and not me, go somewhere and not invite me then talk about the funny stuff they did together, and laugh about it knowing i have no idea what there talking about. They'll even have sleep overs sometimes and wont even think to invite me. its like were the tree musketeers but im the outside. It hurts so bad because i dont know why they leave me out, its gotten to a point so that sometimes they'll even leave me out why'll im there suddenly casesy will be sitting next to me and go sit next to sarah and tell her she doesnt wanna go home then sarah will say come to my house and they wont invite me. Its making me hate them please tell me is this relationship toxic what should i do? because I think they know they're leaving me out, but they just dont care.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
it is difficult to be in situations like this, throughout mylife i have been "sarah" on occasion, and sometimes i've been a "casey".
through out life people will drift in and out of your life if you choose to let them. it is possible that someone that you never thought would be your friend ends up becoming your bestfriend. (that has happened to me just recently) and then again, your best friend might become your worst enemy.
i'm not saying that your friends will become your enemies; I'm just saying that it is interesting, and sometimes downright baffleing how people can drift in and out of our lives. i don't believe that your friends are purposely intending to hurt your feelings. they are in the midst of new things in their lives, they are drifting. and maybe it seems that they are purposely hurting your feelings by neglecting to include you in everything from sleepovers to conversations.
and on that note i think that the best advice i can give to you is to let them know that you are feeling like a third wheel. Sure, they should know better that they are leaving you out of things, and that are hurting your feelings, but maybe they don't, and then it is up to you to tell them.
I don't think that they are going to hate you or ridicule you in anyway, more than likely they will console you and make an effort to invite you more often, and if they don't, then they aren't true friends.
and on another note, i think that after you confront them on how hurt you are, and if they are sorry, and make amends, then i think that you should attempt to make the effort to include yourself in as much as you can. don't wait for an invite, just go ahead and ask for yourself. or, maybe try to squeeze yourself back into the three musketeers by inviteing them to do a ton of things with you... basically you just need to incorprate yourself back into the friendship that you had with these girls by inviting them to do things with you, and by inviting yourself to do things with them... and if they don't like it then at least you know where you stand with them.
good luck, and take care!
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