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Smokes weed.
Hi.
I'm way younger then my 24 year old boyfriend.
I hate that he smokes weed. He does this rarely, like once a month. He knows I hate it and it's a serious thing in our relationship because if he doesn't stop I'll have to end it. I hate worrying about what he's doing when he goes out with his friends and it's because I can't join him since I can't go to bars and stuff because of my age.
The reason, this time that I'm SO mad. Is because on Friday he went out with a group of friends. These friends constantly drink & constantly do drugs together. I asked him on the phone if he had gotten high and he said no, and he promised. My boyfriend NEVER lies, so I was stupid enough to believe him.
A few days later I had gotten a message on myspace that was from his friend. The message said, "Your boyfriend got baked on brownies the other night." Which basically means he got high. After asking him what this meant and if he really did it, he lied again and finally told me the truth after nagging him for like an hour.
He told all of his friends on Friday about how I cause a lot of trouble in his life and he wanted to be happy again by smoking weed. Everytime I bring up that I want him to stop smoking weed, he'll argue until I have nothing else to say. What are reasons that he should stop? Because the reasons I come up with OBVIOUSLY don't matter.
BTW, he's 24 years old, and he just recently got his first job because of me. Before that he was a waster living off of his dads money and playing video games all day. I don't want him to turn into what he used to be.
Please help & thank you.
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Just the fact that he's 24 and dating a teenager is a big red flag in my view.
He's not a good boyfriend. Break up with him. Now. It doesn't matter what he wants to do or what you nag him to do, he's *the kind of guy who smokes weed, lies to his girlfriend, bad mouths you to his friends, and lives with his dad*. That type of guy is not one you date. He didn't used to be that, he IS that, and he's taking advantage of you. You shouldn't have even started dating him.
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been here.. done this.
you've saved him from a lot of things and if he can't realize and appreciate what youve done for him he needs a serious reality check. he'd probably be in jail if it werent for you. and if he can honestly look you in the eyes and tell you he rather be smoking than holding you in his arms then girl it's not worth it. i understand you care about him way too much to let him do this to himself but really all you can do at this point is tell him you should be the only reason he needs in order to stop smoking. because i'm sure you're the only one who cares enough about him to encourage him to stop.. YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON HE NEEDS. and if it's not a good enough reason for him then you're going to have to step back and torture yourself while you watch him go down. But I encourage you to keep going as long as you can, after all he did get a job and i'm sure he's cleaning up his act a little bit, patience is the key if you see potential in him. Nobody can just quit in a day but honesty is something you should talk to him about. You need to tell him that you're not going to look like an idiot defending him all the time when really he's out there getting high, its ok if he does it at this point but he HAS to tell you about it. Because trust me he'll start feeling embarrassed or dissapointed the more he has to tell you what he's doing and that will eventually turn into a motivation to stop.
anyways. good luck.
if you have any other questions feel free to ask.
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i know this maybe tough but you should talk to him about it. Honestly though just so you know drugs will most likely come before you in a relationship if your partner is doing drugs. What you can do is tell him what is wrong possibly even take a break for a little while until he straightens out. But i mean he lied to you too which violated your trust, you had to get it from his friend. Did you confront him about what he said you to his friends? Maybe if you do take a break he will realize how much you mean to him and how serious you are about him giving up weed. Trust me you do not need that kind of stressor on your shoulders and it will never fully go away unless you just give in, which you should not do. And when you tell him about weed make sure you dont use word like YOU SHOULD or stuff like that tell him that the health risks worry you and you feel it is putting up a barrier between you and him.
GOOD LUCK
brittni
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