|
stuck
Me and my best friend started talking to one of my "ex's" friends. He's 5 years older than us, but at the time he was 18. We started talking to him more and more and we all became close friends, even though he lives in a different state we loved him as our friend. Me and him were very close, i've always had feelings for him but I tried not to show it, i didn't want him thinking it was so teenage girl crush on an older guy, it was more than that. At time he'd yell at me, telling me i was "too young, and he didn't feel the same way i felt for him." This made no sense to me because I never said I did have those kind of feelings for him, it was just a sudden outburst from him. We wouldn't talk for a couple of months then we would start again, and then the same thing happened once again. I was "annoying" and blah blah blah. My best friend didn't understand was he was talking about either, we only talked to him when we were together, and I'm not that kind of person at all.
Now that I'm much, much older I think he feels more comfortable with me and my best friend, he tells us alot, personal things, it makes us stronger. He calls me beautiful all the time, and he's soooo cute =]
SO then again, we start talking again. One night he admits that he's in love with me and the reason why he was pushing me away because I was too young and it didn't feel right to him, but now that i'm getting older it was ok. He said he'd wait for me because I was planning on going to a college near him. He's not a creep/psycho anything like that, hes the sweetest person I've ever known in my life. But after that he starts ignoring me again, it just confuses the hell out of me. He told my friend that i'm "annoying" and that he remembers now why he stopped talking to me in the first place, nice huh? Well I'm not sure what to do, I haven't talked to him but all I want is to talk about that night. Any advice?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Tell him that it won't work like this. If he's in love with you, great. If you also annoy him, well, that's fine too; my wife annoys me sometimes too, and I know that I annoy her frequently. However, these are issues he should bring to YOU, not talk about behind your back and make nasty comments about remembering why he stopped talking to you before. By ignoring you when he has a problem with your behavior, he's displaying quite the lack of maturity, despite his being five years older.
There's something else going on here, though, and that's your best friend working behind the scenes. Want to know how he found out about your feelings in the first place? Look no further than her. I suspect that she may be sabotaging your relationship - perhaps not deliberately, but she's doing it all the same. If he's telling her things that he's apparently not willing to tell you, and she's passing them on... well, just consider that information is probably going the other way too. She seems a little too involved in this relationship, to be honest. If the two of you are a couple, he should be focusing primarily on you and not her, and she should understand that there is a part of your life now that she does not get to share.
Incidentally, he may feel a certain residual guilt that as an 18-year-old young man, he had such feelings for a 13-year-old girl - even if he was decent enough to ignore them at the time and wait for you to become an adult yourself. If this is the case, some reassurance from you to the effect that you appreciate his having waited for you might go a long way toward helping him deal with that. This is the smaller problem, however; the bigger one is the manner in which he deals with your relationship troubles, and it's just not going to work for the long term for him to ignore you and talk trash behind your back every time he feels upset.
]
well he sounds like hes playing mind games hes 5 years older than you are right so you cant be two you if you were younger than 16 than maybe but if hes just gonna keep pushing you away you dont need it your falling for him and he said hes falling for you but he doesnt show it and calls you annoying so i would do the same push him away before you get to involed and hurt you know its obouius that he cant make up his mind and he said he would wait for you but it seems your the one waiting does he want you or not you know what i mean just push yourself away slowly and tell him if im so annoying than why call me im not just some doormat that you can walk all over hope i helped goodluck
]
More Questions: |