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How do I tell my child her dad is really not her dad?
Hi I'm 24 years old and I have a 7 year old daughter. I had My daughter when I was 16 and at the time was seeing this guy whao cheated on me the night I found out I was at a party and was drunk. Not that thats a excuse but this other guy had been persuing me for a while so I went home with him and we slept together. After that night my boyfriend and I kept seeing eachother he told me it was a lye he never cheated on me and ofcourse I was dumb and fell for it. Meanwhile I was already hooked with this other guy and we kept seeing eachother he new about my boyfriend and didnt care we kept it a secret til this day nobody knows we were ever together.
Well months later I found out I was pregnant. I was sure it was my boyfriends baby the other guy never came into my mind because we had only had unprotected sex once. how ever he did ask if it was his baby and I told him no. I told my boyfriend and we had the baby he was cheating on me the whole time we split up when the baby was 4 months. He has never been a real good dad he sees her once in a while sometimes he goes months with out seeing her but thats the guy she knows as her dad and loves him very much. I always have this other guy in the back of my head because my daughter looks nothing like her dad she mostly looks like me but I have always wonder it migh been a posability that the other guy could be her dad. But I didnt really remember what he looked like I hadnt seen him in years he moved away after highschool and didnt here from him since10 months ago I saw his sister she had a daughter wich when I looked at her she looked just like my daughter did when she was her age then I started really wondering then one month later I happened to run into the guys web page and I decided to contact him just to say hi I did and he contacted me bk on my web page wich has pictures of my daughter. We exchanged screen names and started chatting online the first thing he asked me was is she my daughter. I didnt know what to say but I told him theres a posability she could be and we exchanged pictures and everything my daughter looks just like him and his family theres things of her that he has thats it could only be because they were related well to make this shorter He is her father I havent told the other guy who has always thought that she was his but only because He doesnt really take care of her we havent heard or seen him in almost a year now and my number or adress hasnt changed he just doesnt care and she doesnt ask for him eighter. Anyways my daughter and this guy have seen eachther recently and now we are in a relationship and they get along great like if they known eachother forever and she adores him and he does too but how do I tell my daughter that he is her dad and not the other guy that shes always thought of her dad.
Please Help Me!!
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well I'll tell you what, I would sit down with him and your daughter, and tell the truth she's old enough to understand, beleive me, take it slow, the transition, could be easy, or she might totally disagree with you, but be honest, ya-know thats what were trying to teach our children in the first place..right...I know youll do just fine...your still mommy....
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I'd say first make sure that he really is the father, get a blood test done so you have it on paper. Also if this guy is her father and really loves her and is going to be there for her i think she should know who her real father is especially if it's a guy that's gonna be there for her. plus if she finds out later in life rather than sooner she could be angry. Your her mother though and I'm sure that you know what is best for her so I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine. Also seven year olds are still children but they are old enough to understand these situations at least to some digree.
Hope this helps. Be blessed hope all goes well.
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I had a grandpa who I found out was not my blood grandpa. by then I knew him better than my real grandpa who I'd never met and he will always be grandpa pat to me just like your daughter's first father will always be her father.
I found out about my grandpa when I reached the maturity to understand complicated relationships between people. I just wouldn't have understood divorce if I had learned it at 5 or 6 and I know I wouldn't have understood or have been able to come to terms with the circumstances that led to my lack of blood grandfather. I wouldn't tell her until she starts asking questions or until she's been through middle school at least. when she can understand she will be there to hear, but not now.
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