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Should I tell my friend I slept with her ex-crush?
Hi-
I am a 30 yr old professional female, looking for advice. I slept with my friend's ex-crush several months ago. I am single, as is he. She is now married (for over 2 years) to a wonderful man and pregnant with their first child. She NEVER had a relationship with this man, but had a massive crush on him through high school and college. She is very happy in her marriage. She and I are not as close friends as we once were, but live in the same area and see each other here and there. This man's name comes up in conversation and I feel dishonest by not telling her the truth about what happened between us. It was just a one-night thing and I don't want to be selfish and tell her just to make myself feel better. However, she and I were such close friends and I feel like I am omitting something huge from mention by not telling her I slept with this guy. Plus if she finds out from someone else in the future (not me) it would be even worse (though this is not a likely scenario). Please help!! Thanks.
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No, you should not tell her. There's just no reason she needs to know... it was a one night thing, there's no relationship there, she's not having a relationship with this man (even if you think she wants to, she's not, there's a big difference). If you slept with him last night and were asking this question, you'd probably have more poeple say to tell her (I mean, because she's interested in how your weekend went, not because she needs to know who you're sleeping with). But now that months have gone by the fact that you haven't told her is a sign that it's not important or necessary. And besides, he might not want her to know, and in that case you REALLY shouldn't tell her because he deserves privacy about his sex life just like you do.
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You say you aren't as close anymore, but if you still consider her a friend then I think under certain conditions you should tell her.
Don't bring it up yourself, and don't just blurt out you slept with him! Tell her you went out with him.
If she asks for details...then say something.
Like you I think I would feel dishonest if I didn't
mention it when the subject comes up. Not to mention if she should find out elsewhere, and it can happen,
it would make you seem like you were lying for some reason.
She loves her husband this other guy is just a fantasy for her if that. :)
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Hey!
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*******EDIT**********
You still shouldn`t tell her, I don`t even understand why you would even consider that.
*******EDIT**********
I think you telling her wouldn`t be such a good idea. Sure, she probably couldn`t care less because she's now married to a wonderful man & she`s pregnant with his child. I`m sure that the last person she would ever think about is this crush guy that she used to like a long time ago.
But I`m sure if you brought it up in conversation she`d think it was random just because she probably hasn`t thought about him in a long time.
I wouldn`t tell her if I were you, just because she`s married and won`t care. If she finds out in the future, just tell her that you didn`t think it seemed like that big of an issue at the time.
♥
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