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Suicide
To make this as short as possible...
My best friend has been depressed for almost 2 years now, mostly minor depression. Lately she's been getting more and more depressed. She has been talking to me about it and she has mentioned, more than once mind you, about commiting suicide. I love her and I tell her all the time...I don't want her to kill herself, soo many people would be sad. She seems to think that everybody hates her and all that...she used to cut ALOT but I managed to get her to stop but that took so much effort that I started getting depressed. I'm fine now but she isn't. She needs help but she refuses to get any. How do I attempt to fix this? I love her so much, like how is it that a 16 year old girl wants to commit suicide. She's in soo many clubs and what-not, she does soo much volunteer work, she's the best person ever. I know one of her best friends just died but I don't think that would cause all of this, being that it started like almost 2 years ago. Anyways, she and I could use all your help. =]♥
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Well, considering the fact that she's cut herself before, you probably should tell an adult. Perhaps, her parents. Let them know that you're worried about your friend. Let them know your concerns and why. Go to her parents, a counselor, someone that you know that she'll listen to. Don't gamble with her life, and I know that you're not doing that. You probably think that by doing this, that you'll be betraying her, but in the end you'll be helping her. Don't take a chance. Tell an adult. It sounds like this girl needs help and your support is really good to have. Right now what she needs is something more, a lot more. Especially, since she's considering suicide. And you can't give that to her, professional help. However, grown ups will make a way to provide that for her. You have to tell them how serious this is. Her parents deserve to know. And even if the result doesn't turn out the way you hope, at least you can live with the fact that you tried to save her.And that truly matters. I hope I was some help and good luck. Whatever method you take, I hope your friend gets better.
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All teens go through some depression now and then. Its normal. If someone gets to the point where it isn't going away anymore, it is time for them to seek medical help. Especially if they are having thoughts of suicide.
I suggest you go to her mom and have a talk with her. Tell her your concerns for her safety. This will be hard to do but you really have no choice.
When a friend tells you something like that you have to take them seriously and consider it a cry for help. She may be mad at you for a time, better that then a dead friend. You wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if she actually followed through on her threats and you hadn't done anything to stop it.
The death of a friend can really throw someone into a deeper depression if they are already struggling with it. It is never really any one thing that is the problem.
I hope you consider talking with your friends mom.
If nothing else turn to your own mom for help with it.
Here is a good site if you want more tips on how to help her. :)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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This is something my friend has also been through! its hard but you seem to be really special to her and you have done amazingly well to get her to stop cutting. You need to look after yourself also because you have mentioned you also started to get depressed and that is no good to your friend if you are also depressd. What you shoud try and do is talk to your friend about what she thinks is getting her down and why. A great way to do this is to get her to write a diary with all her feelings and emotions in it and then you could read this and this is a fantastic way in which you can get an insite into what she is feeling. The best thing to do is to get your friend to seek proffesional help and you have got to try and convince her as best as possible to do this. She clearly listens to you and you have got an impact on her and this will help as she will listen to what you say. Her best friend dieing may have triggerd alot more depression but you being there for her will make alot of difference as she is not alone as you are doin a fantastic job in trying to care for her. Try and find the route of the problem and then if she shares all her feelings with you then it will take less stress from her. You are doing fabulously well with careing for her soo much and i hope this helps.
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For starters- your friend sounds like a great person but I think the fact that she helps tons of people and is in sooo many clubs can worsen the depression. Do people say 'thank you' to her when she helps them with volunteer work? Does she do the clubs for more friends or to get away from them? Are other friends in the clubs? Do people help her in simple times like when she needs to fix her shoe or whatever? Basically, is she underappreciated? If so then I would try to get her to hang out with you and all your other friends. Do something fun and literally, make it so whatever you do everyone is trying to be with her.
There is nothing you can really do that I'm sure you haven't done. You've said the 'they'll miss you's, they love you, they need you, don't do this' speeches and it all seems to not work. If this depression is serious why not try to find her someone who has been through this and would understand her. If you can't then hers something that I know first hand....
If she cuts, don't tell her it's wrong because in some cases it isn't. If your body is in complete and utter pain like from a burn or a broken bone some people cut to release blood which makes you feel better. However, in the case of unhappiness it's not right to do but instead of saying that it is wrong ask her why she is doing it try and get in her brain and make it stop without making her feel bad.
When she says she wants to kill herself do not tell her NO DON'T! ask her why? Ask her why she thinks these reasons are true if it has to do with like people hating her. Then tell her why they are not. Any not by saying 'oh they love you' but by giving examples.
hope i helped
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If she feels under-appreciated, TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! You're her sister, aren't you?
Ask her, "If I didn't care about you, would I have stopped you from cutting? No. But I did try to stop you. Doesn't that prove that I love you? You know how many people are going to be upset if you die? Why don't you see it? I wouldn't bother persuading you to live if I didn't care. So don't kill yourself!" List everyone that cares about her, including you.
Hug her. Be sweet. Start crying if you have to! Be overdramatic about so she'll get it and believe it.
XOXOX tell me everything
-Jenny
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