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My boyfriend isn't attracted to me
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. The first part of the relationship was long distance, so I didn't really think anything of it when he seemed uncomfortable. But, looking back, from the beginning he seemed hesistant about having sex with me. It was I who initiated our first time together and he just didn't seem as eager as I did. And to be honest with you, I can count how many times we have had sex in all of that time. I would say, and this is being generous, about 20 times, maybe, and as of now, I can't remember the last time we did it, maybe 2 months ago. He is very affectionate in other ways, but when it comes to that, he just doesn't seem that interested. Its always some excuse. I used to be on him about it everyday, asking questions, but now I don't say anything and I think that he is happier with that. I have never had this problem before, my last boyfriend loved having sex with me, but now sometimes I doubt my ability to please someone sexually. Another thing is that he never compliments me. Ever. I always have to say something first. Even on my birthday, of all days, I was looking good and he didn't say anything until my roomate said something. I feel that I have tried to talk to him and approach this situation in an adult manner, but I feel jilted. He never presented this side of himself before we started dating. I even asked him if he was gay. Nothing. And I see him checking out other women so I know that he is attracted to females. I feel that I am too young to give up my sexual life and not just on a physical level, but what it can help nurture between man and woman who love each other. I am not ugly, I just finished modeling not even a year ago, I am not overweight, I am not a prude in bed either, I don't stink. I feel I have tried everything and its frustrating to see someone that you love so happy not to be close to you, but want to be up under me all the time, just not that way. Should I even bother to stick around and see what the problem is or just leave now.
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I really don't think it is you I think it is something within him. Sex is not all there is to a relationship but it is a good part of it. You said you have tried talking to him but get nowhere. Ask yourself, when you two did have sex, was it good, did he get into it or was it like hurry and lets get it over with. He may need extra stimulation in order to get "in the mood" or he may be lacking testastarone. If you love him don't leave him over sex but try to find out what is going on with him and offer to work through it with him.
Alot of guys are shy about ED and he may need a gentle approach to it but if you really love him, stick by his side and try to get to the bottom of it with him
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Wrain
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hey, well sometimes guys just loose interest in there girlfriends. yeah i know that sounds bad, but thats just how guys are. maybe he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you anymore and just doesnt want to/or know how to tell you. whatever the case is you need to find out whats going on. sit him down and have a talk with him. tell him how you feel and dont hold back on letting your feelings out. i know youve metioned that youve already tried this before, but you need to do it again. also this time be more serious with it. good luck.
EDITS: IM SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION. I MISUNDERSTOOD YOUR QUESTION. IM SORRY.
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Whatever the problem is it isn't you.
First you need to talk to him about it. Does he have religious beliefs that are holding him back?
Is he diabetic? Sometimes having a disease like that can cause males to have problems with sex.
Is he gay? Sometimes guys have a problem coming to terms with that. Especially if brought up around homophobic people. They want to deny it if they are.
Whatever it is he should seek some medical attention. If it is religious beliefs then he needs to at least tell you about it.
You will have to have a serious discussion with him about it. Don't ask him straight out if it is religious beliefs, let him tell you. Don't want to give him an excuse to use!
Sex isn't all there is to a relationship as I'm sure you already know. It is an important part though. If your talk doesn't give you some insight
then you will probably have to tell him you will just be friends. :)
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You sound like you'd be on every guy's wanted list. Maybe this boyfriend of yours isn't right for you. You try to please him. You be affectionate. You're a dream come true of almost every guy... but maybe just not his.
Maybe your boyfriend doesn't realize what he would be missing out on if you weren't his. Show him! Tell him that you guys should meet other people. Most likely, your boyfriend will think you mean it as, "I already did." When your boyfriend asks why, you'll know he cares in someway. This is when you get the chance to talk to him. To tell him why. Don't be harsh. Tell him you want to keep the relationship spicy, but tell him why you're about to give up on trying.
If you tell him you two should meet other people, and he just agrees... he just lost interest in you. Flirt with other guys. You're sure to attract at least a hundred! =)
Good luck (not like you need it, heheh)
-Jenny C
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