First my b/f and i from the start didn't have a good relationship... I thought we were getting over it, working hard with each other and for our child. This June, I caught him online talking to two girls on myspace...that wasn't the problem...i dont care who he talks to, im not the jealous type like that. He was acting wierd, and wouldn't let me around the computer, and so i pryed and found that he had been asking these girls out, (I knew the one girl he had slept with in hs, but whatever thats the past, the other girl i found out through all this that he had slept with her while I was preg. with our daughter and throughout him and I's relationship)(still the past, but a past of us together....). Well, I tried to handle things as maturly as possible, but, after I found out about the second girl, I went off on her. and of course him. I did and do blame 99% on him. Well, the second girl is really good freinds with my b/f's best freind *Mindy. Mindy got mad at me because I told her freind off. We no longer speak. I feel Mindy was pushing them together the entire time, through some things said through it all also. But that is my oppinion. Well, in my mind, regardless if i was right or wrong for telling her off I dont beleive it was any of *mindy or her husbands business what went on. If that girl wants to chew me back out, whatever. But it isn't any of *Mindy's business, nor she should't of ever gotten in it in the first place. And trust me I told her that. I thought we were good freinds. I never thought she was like this. My question is, my b/f and I are doing wonderfull now. He has really proved himself to me. And we are talking about getting ingaged. My question is, is that my b/f wants *Joe, *Mindy's husband in our wedding. Should I let him? I feel that I need a apology. Normally I would apologize even if it wasn't anything I did. But I did nothing wrong or to them. We are planning for three years. alot could change in three years. I feel that its my big day, and that i shoulnd't have to feel uncomfortable on my big day. But, on the contrary I do relize that him and his freind have been good freinds since first grade, and if i really loved him, that I should do that for him and put it behind me,and that doesnt mean that I need speak to him. I feel they are not true freinds to him or us. And also *Joe could say, no I dont want to even be in it. which, I kinda see that happening, and im going to kinda feel bad by it because i know it will hurt my b/f. But, that will at least prove to him what they really are too. I do know that im not going to be the first to apologize. I want an apology from both of them. wether i get it or not is one thing. I do know that if the tables were turned, and it her in my place, this all would of been alot worse. Help in Ohio
You are absolutely correct in the fact that it was none of Mindy's business. She should have kept her 2 cents to herself. However, you got on her friend and she got on you and that is what you are dealing with.
As far as the answer to your question, should Joe be in your wedding?? If your boyfriend wants him to be in the wedding then I think you and your boyfriend should sit down and talk about what you just wrote and come to an agreement about Joe. From what you wrote Joe didn't do anything, only Mindy. Yes Mindy should be the one to apologize but you can't make her. You have 3 choices..
1). Wait for her to apologize while you just get more frustrated waiting for the apology.
2). Be the bigger person and apologize or at least sit down and tell Mindy how you feel.
3). Forget it and realize that nobody but you controls the way you feel and if you are letting Mindy have that much control over your emotions about this, then Mindy wins and you lose.
If there is one thing I have learned in life is this..Never let anyone have that much control over you, You control you. If you ALLOW someone to make you angry, thats on you. Notice I said ALLOW. It is YOUR decision and your decision alone how you let other people affect you.
Plan your wedding, love your boyfriend, plan on Joe being in the wedding and last but not least...HAVE A BLAST...it will be your day.
Let me know how it goes.
[view]
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. The first part of the relationship was long distance, so I didn't really think anything of it when he seemed uncomfortable. But, looking back, from the beginning he seemed hesistant about having sex with me. It was I who initiated our first time together and he just didn't seem as eager as I did. And to be honest with you, I can count how many times we have had sex in all of that time. I would say, and this is being generous, about 20 times, maybe, and as of now, I can't remember the last time we did it, maybe 2 months ago. He is very affectionate in other ways, but when it comes to that, he just doesn't seem that interested. Its always some excuse. I used to be on him about it everyday, asking questions, but now I don't say anything and I think that he is happier with that. I have never had this problem before, my last boyfriend loved having sex with me, but now sometimes I doubt my ability to please someone sexually. Another thing is that he never compliments me. Ever. I always have to say something first. Even on my birthday, of all days, I was looking good and he didn't say anything until my roomate said something. I feel that I have tried to talk to him and approach this situation in an adult manner, but I feel jilted. He never presented this side of himself before we started dating. I even asked him if he was gay. Nothing. And I see him checking out other women so I know that he is attracted to females. I feel that I am too young to give up my sexual life and not just on a physical level, but what it can help nurture between man and woman who love each other. I am not ugly, I just finished modeling not even a year ago, I am not overweight, I am not a prude in bed either, I don't stink. I feel I have tried everything and its frustrating to see someone that you love so happy not to be close to you, but want to be up under me all the time, just not that way. Should I even bother to stick around and see what the problem is or just leave now.
I really don't think it is you I think it is something within him. Sex is not all there is to a relationship but it is a good part of it. You said you have tried talking to him but get nowhere. Ask yourself, when you two did have sex, was it good, did he get into it or was it like hurry and lets get it over with. He may need extra stimulation in order to get "in the mood" or he may be lacking testastarone. If you love him don't leave him over sex but try to find out what is going on with him and offer to work through it with him.
Alot of guys are shy about ED and he may need a gentle approach to it but if you really love him, stick by his side and try to get to the bottom of it with him
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Wrain
[view]
So there is this guy named Randell and he is REALLY into me. HE calls me atleast 5 times a day just to let me know I'm the only one he's thinking about. He leaves really sweet messages on my phone about how he likes me. But the thing is I don't like him like that AT ALL. And I feel really bad because I even lied and told him I had a bf (I know i was wrong) So I don't know what to do or what to tell him. Tommorrow night I'm going to a very big party and he's going to be there. So I will have a chance to talk to him in person about "the situation."
Hi hon,
The absolute best thing you can do is to let Randell know that the extent of your feeling for him is friends. Don't lead him on any longer letting him think that it is or could be more. He sounds like he might be a really cool guy and may make a great friend you just need to let him know this from jump.
Tomorrow night at the party, just sit him down and explain it to him. Let him know that you really like him as a friend and that you would like to remain good friends with him. If he cannot accept this, than it is his loss, but better to be honest with him than not.
Good luck and let me know how it goes
Wrain
[view]
I really don't even know where to begin. My boyfriend found out two months ago that he was potentially the father of a two year old girl. He took the DNA test and he is the father. We have been together since a couple of months after the child was conceived. I have a 6 year old and we have a ten month old together.
The mother of the little girl was arrested for drug use and the child was put in temporary custody of the grandmother.
My boyfriend wasn't even in a relationship with this girl, it was just a very stupid mistake he made. Now they are trying to get him for back child support, as well as current support and medical bills since she got assistance from the state. Our children currently get medical coverage from the state so I don't see why he should be responsible for this other kids medical bills.
He has wanted to give up his rights to the child since we first found out about it. At first I tried to get him to do the right thing and try and get custody, but the more I think about it the more angry I get. I feel betrayed and hurt about this and it has me very depressed. I am trying to be strong for my children but I don't know what we should do. I love my boyfriend very much but I don't know if I can deal with him having a child with someone else. Just the thought of it makes me want to strangle him. If he had known about this child before I entered into a relationship with him I probably wouldn't ever been with him.
I sometimes think it would be best for him to try for custody for the sake of the child, but at the same time I feel I would have a strong hatred for her. Besides the emotional issues I'm not sure we could financially. I'm so tired of feeling like I am being torn apart inside. I just don't know what to do.
I'm really not a bad person, but I just can't figure out if I should stay with him or just leave. If I stay I don't know what we should do about this whole mess. Should I let him try and sign over his rights to her and just forget about it? He wants our lives the way they were before we found out any of this. I do too, but should we try and get custody of her even though it could ruin our relationship?
I really need some advice first of all to help myself feel better and not be so angry at him and the child(even though I know it isn't her fault, I feel like it is because she was born) Then I need advice about what we should do as a family. I would really appreciate some unbiased advice. Thanks
Well first of all this is his daughter and regardless of weather or not he was with the mother for awhile or it was just a one night stand means nothing since you didn't get with him until after they were done.
You have a child by a previous boyfriend/husband and he seems like it does not bother him. You didn't fall in love with him because he did not have any children, you feel in love with him because he was right for you. The little girl needs her father and she needs a mother figure. For you to hate her is just not fair to her or her father. She is innocent in all this. She did not ask to be brought into this world and it is his responsibility to step up to the plate and be a father. If you cannot deal with this you need to let him go and find a woman that can support his role as a father.
I think if you two were to spend time with the little girl and you could form a bond with her, you might have a different outlook on it. You owe it to your boyfriend, his daughter and your children to at least try and make this work.
What you should do as a family is to try and make a family including the little girl, she needs you both. Don't deprive her of her father because you are mad at something he did before he met you.
Good luck with this and keep me posted.
Wrain
[view]
Hi well im having troubles,i really feel i love my ex boyfriend.We had a really intense relationship and it got to the point we actually said we LOVED eachother and meant it.He is a "player" he has had many girlfriends in his life and im the calm girl who only has had him.He did so many things for me,he went back to school...and my parents(specially my mom) didnt like him and he fought against them until he was given permission to be my boyfriend,NOT MANY GUYS ACTUALLY STAY WHEN PARENTS GIVE THEM A HARD TIME.The point is that it has been five months since we broke up,we have talked...and in our first conversation after we broke up he made it seem that he wanted to get back together but he hasnt done anything.He did do a lot,he lied to my parents and lied to me,Making up the lie that he got his ex girl pregnat which after he told me that he did it to "test" me.I feel that we broke up because he missed being single.I still love him and.But is he really worth fighting for?? or should i just forget about him and move on??Please help me
Girl....RUN. There are to many men out there to be playing with a "player". If he played others he will play you and like the previous answer you received, a relationship without trust is not a relationship. You may think you loved this guy but my guess is that you loved the things he may have done for you and you wanted to prove to the other girls that he was YOUR man. I am sure some of the girls he has "played" were actually glad that he hooked up with someone else and finally left them alone. Women get tired of that and let me tell you, it only gets worse, they do not get better.
Move on and find a man out there that will love you for your and not put you through "test" that was a lie in itself. Don't waste anymore precious tears over this jerk. Let him be someone elses problem!
Good luck to you and let me know how it goes.
Wrain
[view]
one friend that i have mentioned before has been relly gettin on ma last nerves. i was late for skool one day went up behind her and said "boo" the girl turned around and punched me in the face and i was ready to scream and cry but i didn't.All i could do was hold my nose.Then, another day i was in the lunchroom and i tripped on her bookbag and fell on her and she took he hand and dug her nails into my wrist and i started bleeding. i have been in so many arguements wit her and she says stuff behind peoples' backs. it wasn't pretty. please try to answer me right now!!! THANKS!!! and she said she is very nice. HA!!
With friends like that you don't need enemies. Stay away from her. From what it sounds like to me, she will be the one losing out on a good friend.
The one thing I have learned is the more you let people get to you the more they will try. Don't let her have that much power over you.
If you let this bully make you miserable then she wins. But, if you take control of your own feelings and emotions you win.
Good luck with this bully and remember, you are responsible for your reactions to her actions.
Wrain
[view]
Me and this boy used to date. We really liked each other a lot, things went wrong and friends got in the way, we both got hurt end of story. We always feel diff.about each other at dif times.and its been like 6 months since we broke up/ We been hanging out a lot lately, and we got into this jealousy fight, and then i just spilled it all out that i liked him. He pretty much said what i just said, i hurt him before, and he never knows how i feel, but he has thought about us gettin back together. We hung out the past two days, flirt soo much, but nothing more. I know i cant force something to happen, but i know somewhere inside of him he likes me, and im sometimes afraid to show him howw much i like him cause i dont want things to feel awkward for him, and just rush things and f*** it up. But idk, we might hang out tm. I jsut need to get some advice on what to do from here, i dont wanna hear juts wait it out, i wanan hear from someone who has once been in this situatoin and got past it. Like in my mind im thinkin talk to him about it in person, then see what happens, instead of the comp like we have been
thanks
Hi honey,
I have been in your shoes before. Men are hard to figure out and the last thing you want to do is scare him away. If you both have feelings for each other things will work themselves out if you play it right.
First..spend time with him and let him talk about the things he likes and act like you are interested in them. Always try to make him feel like a million bucks when you are with him and make him want to spend time with you. If you brighten his day he will want to be around you. If you are constantly fussing at him or complaining he won't want to be around that.
Try to always make the environment you are in a fun one. Make him laugh. The best thing you can do is be yourself.
Goodluck and keep me posted as to how it goes.
Wrain
Talking to him in person would be better than talking to him on the computer. The computer is not a good medium because you can't hear their voice or see their facial expressions. When you do talk to him in person, just tread lite and remember, always make him feel like a million bucks, keep him laughing and act like you are interested in what he has to say. Men like to talk about themselves and in the beginning, we have to act like we are interested. Play it cool and if you really want this guy, you can hook him.
Good luck and keep me posted.
Wrain
[view]
|
