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a situation about two former freinds and my current boyfrein
First my b/f and i from the start didn't have a good relationship... I thought we were getting over it, working hard with each other and for our child. This June, I caught him online talking to two girls on myspace...that wasn't the problem...i dont care who he talks to, im not the jealous type like that. He was acting wierd, and wouldn't let me around the computer, and so i pryed and found that he had been asking these girls out, (I knew the one girl he had slept with in hs, but whatever thats the past, the other girl i found out through all this that he had slept with her while I was preg. with our daughter and throughout him and I's relationship)(still the past, but a past of us together....). Well, I tried to handle things as maturly as possible, but, after I found out about the second girl, I went off on her. and of course him. I did and do blame 99% on him. Well, the second girl is really good freinds with my b/f's best freind *Mindy. Mindy got mad at me because I told her freind off. We no longer speak. I feel Mindy was pushing them together the entire time, through some things said through it all also. But that is my oppinion. Well, in my mind, regardless if i was right or wrong for telling her off I dont beleive it was any of *mindy or her husbands business what went on. If that girl wants to chew me back out, whatever. But it isn't any of *Mindy's business, nor she should't of ever gotten in it in the first place. And trust me I told her that. I thought we were good freinds. I never thought she was like this. My question is, my b/f and I are doing wonderfull now. He has really proved himself to me. And we are talking about getting ingaged. My question is, is that my b/f wants *Joe, *Mindy's husband in our wedding. Should I let him? I feel that I need a apology. Normally I would apologize even if it wasn't anything I did. But I did nothing wrong or to them. We are planning for three years. alot could change in three years. I feel that its my big day, and that i shoulnd't have to feel uncomfortable on my big day. But, on the contrary I do relize that him and his freind have been good freinds since first grade, and if i really loved him, that I should do that for him and put it behind me,and that doesnt mean that I need speak to him. I feel they are not true freinds to him or us. And also *Joe could say, no I dont want to even be in it. which, I kinda see that happening, and im going to kinda feel bad by it because i know it will hurt my b/f. But, that will at least prove to him what they really are too. I do know that im not going to be the first to apologize. I want an apology from both of them. wether i get it or not is one thing. I do know that if the tables were turned, and it her in my place, this all would of been alot worse. Help in Ohio
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You are absolutely correct in the fact that it was none of Mindy's business. She should have kept her 2 cents to herself. However, you got on her friend and she got on you and that is what you are dealing with.
As far as the answer to your question, should Joe be in your wedding?? If your boyfriend wants him to be in the wedding then I think you and your boyfriend should sit down and talk about what you just wrote and come to an agreement about Joe. From what you wrote Joe didn't do anything, only Mindy. Yes Mindy should be the one to apologize but you can't make her. You have 3 choices..
1). Wait for her to apologize while you just get more frustrated waiting for the apology.
2). Be the bigger person and apologize or at least sit down and tell Mindy how you feel.
3). Forget it and realize that nobody but you controls the way you feel and if you are letting Mindy have that much control over your emotions about this, then Mindy wins and you lose.
If there is one thing I have learned in life is this..Never let anyone have that much control over you, You control you. If you ALLOW someone to make you angry, thats on you. Notice I said ALLOW. It is YOUR decision and your decision alone how you let other people affect you.
Plan your wedding, love your boyfriend, plan on Joe being in the wedding and last but not least...HAVE A BLAST...it will be your day.
Let me know how it goes.
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