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my friend died =[
Ok so my friend(15/f died, along with her dad and brother in a car crash. Her mom and older sister are the only ones who survived.
Alot of people on myspace and msn, ect... are writing a bunch of messages about her and to her family type thing. I was wondering if I should post a bullentin saying that everyone should write a message to them about her or w/e and then we should have someone give them to the mother. Is this a good idea or would it just hurt the family more? I just want to show support and what not so yea...what's the best thing to do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well maybe you could raise some money to go towards the funeral or maybe write something for the funeral or maybe write get everyoneto write a mini note and publish it in a small book , and then just put it by her ashes or whatever after.
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dont do anything just yet. you can collect messages on paper (handwritten is nicer than typed. people could mail them to you if they cant get them to you in person. just make sure that only people you trust and know in person receive your address. send it in email messages. things like myspace can be hacked within minutes. send it in a personal email not a myspace message if youre going to send it online.) and give them to her mom and sister later. give them enclosed in a box. tell them that they are messages that people wrote about your friend and how much they mean to her. remind them that the notes dont have to be read. just tell them that your friend meant a lot to so many people and offer them the box. they dont have to take it. in the case that they dont, keep the box and wait until they are ready. remember where you keep it and tell them that if they ever want to read them, that they can just call and you'll give them to them. dont say all of the cliches. it is much much much better to say absolutely nothing than offer the cliche symapthies such as "i know how you feel" "she lived a good life." all that stuff. it can feel very cold, empty, and insincere. dont try to get them to take the box. if they do, dont ask about it. dont ask if they read the notes. thats their business. im so sorry about your friend, and i think what youre doing is something really great and is a nice to remember her. whether her family reads the messages or not, its a nice thing to do. remember, dont offer up the box too quickly. do it when you feel the time is right and they are willing to talk about her freely on their own.
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My reallyyy good friend passed away last year. So, I know how you feel. We got those livestrong bands, & put Look on the brightside. [his famous saying] & then we sold them at school. you could give however much money you wanted. It meant alot to the family, that so many people were there for them.
hope that helped
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I understand hat you re going through ((well sort of))
When I was about 10 years old ((13/f)). One of my reall good friends died. So when I was in 6th grade I helped my teadher with a campaign to raise money for a plack at our school in honor of her.
At first we though of the way it would affect the family. No way in ay shape or form will this hurt the family.
Although it may bring back memories if anything it will help. I think you should go for it. This may help everyone to get over the death, no one will ever forget but they can remember better memories of her/him.
Hop that I helped,
Best of luck
K@t!E
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The best advice I can give you right now is,
Do send it to the Mother and Sister. It will probably help them feel a little better. When you loose a loved one or a friend, it can be tough, but knowing that you're not alone helps. So by sending this kind of thing to the family that is still alive shows that they're not alone in grieving for your friend. I really, sincerely hope this helps.
<3,
Kitty
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I think this is a great idea. It will show her mother and sister that people truly loved your friend, and it will show support which will hopefully help her mom and sister in their time of grief. I'm sorry about your friend =[
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