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does she just want attention? this is long.
ive none my best friend since 1st grade and im now in 10th...a few years ago she would constantly tell people lies for attention all the tim...then she moved away with her mom and her moms b/f.when she came home she had told everyone he raped her..we knew he hit her but we werent sure about this.after she said he rapped her she admitted that he didnt.just a few days ago she said he did. ok my first question is why does she keep chaning her story? i honestly belive he didnt rape her because weve talked about sex before and she says things like im so afraid what it will feel like the first time. i dont want to bring it up with her because everytime i do she always goes he rapped me why dont you belive me!?! what should i do to start getting the truth out of her? please help thanks!
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She may just be doing that for attention or it amy be the truth. The reason she may be changing her story is that if it's true, she's afraid her bf is going to go beserk on her or mahybe she feels ashamed of it.
The only way you can get it out of her is to go to a counslor. She's going to say no probably but if she does the counslor will attack her with "Why did you say such horrible things" question type of thing. Maybe go to the counslor yourself..by yourself and say "This girl that I know says.." don't mention your friends name though,
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You can't get the truth out of her right now. Chances are your friend is so confused an angst ridden she isn't quite sure what the truth is.
There are two things that need to happen here before she will change. First she needs to accept what she is doing, and that is the really hard part. She has to acknowledge, to others, that she has lied. Then she needs to take that acceptance to a counselor or physiologist and work on it with them.
In the meantime remember that compulsive liars don't lie because it's fun or for attention. Their lies often cause them a lot of pain and stress. It's a compulsion, until they realize what they are doing and get help, they honestly can't stop it. It's the same way a person can't fight depression all alone. Mental illnesses don't just go away because the person decides they want them too.
By all means, confront her when you catch her in a lie. You don't need to say "You are lying to me." it might be better to say "You've told me two different things and I don't know which to believe anymore." Let her know that you've caught on to her without judging her too harshly.
A good way to respond her rape accusations would be "You should really talk to someone about that." Don't make a big fuss over it and don't listen to her details. Tell her to take this problem to a professional. Whether it’s true or not, she will resist the idea, but no matter what, it’s the only way things for her will improve.
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