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live in son
I am 65 yrs old and have lived with Linda for some 10 years and about 12 months ago her 35 yr old son move back in(we live in her house)and even though he is a college grad he has not been able, probably because of his background check, to obtain a permanent job, other than waiting tables. He is extremely sloppy even to the point that he will not sleep in his own "room" because it is "too nasty"(which it really is) and he actually has trashed Linda's house with cats and just his life style. She has tried to get him motivated to find a "job" and get out but he hasn't and I don't think he has the ambition to even try. As long as she allows him to stay he has no ambition to leave. My problem is should I continue to live this way or move out and "go on with my life"? I have a chance to buy my own garden home and I think I should do that because it will allow me to have some property for my children to inherit and it will allow me to get away from an apparent no end situation(or at least one that will last for a good while before it changes). My question: am I being smart in moving and getting my life going otherwise or am I just making a big mistake? Any good advice will be very helpful.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Is it possible that the son is abusing drugs? Lack of ambition sometimes reflects this. Or perhaps he has depression or something on that order. Although this does not mean that anyone can force him to get help. I think "Linda" should set some firm guidelines and deadlines and stick with them. You shouldn't have to leave your home of 10 years. You should have a say-so in this matter and be able to give him the boot if he doesn't shape up, but then again you will risk losing Linda too.
However, it's never too late to start over, and having property of your own would be a wonderful thing. I say--go for it and take a chance. It has to be better than putting up with a 35 year old baby!
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If it were me I'd get my own home.
That doesn't come without its problems however. Linda will be hurt is the biggest thing. Unless she is coming with you?
It will be hard to get rid of a 35 year old moocher.
As you said he has absolutely no incentive to leave.
Why would he? He has a warm place to live, All his meals are cooked for him, his laundry is washed and folded. He doesn't have to spend a dime. Hes not going anywhere soon.
Linda will have to be the one to give him the boot.
That's hard for a mom to do but it will have to be done if she wants him gone. :)
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