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Support groups for girlfriends/wives of soldier in Iraq?
My fiance just received his orders and he will be heading for Iraq in early 2007.
I know it's probably nothing compared to what he's feeling, but I'm terrified. I've remained composed over the phone with him (he is currently stationed overseas) and tried to make him think that I'm okay and cheer him on. Make him feel like he'll be okay and he'll come back home to me just fine.
I absolutely cannot tell him how I'm really feeling inside. I can't cry to him because I don't want to worry him any more than he is already.
I've tried to talk to friends but no one understands. They all tell me "Well you knew it would happen!" Knowing it will happen doesn't make it any easier to take when it does.
I'm a nervous wreck. I cry all the time. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cope and he isn't even there yet!
I'd just really like a friend who understands. Does anyone know of an online support group for this kind of thing? Or has anyone here gone through it who could offer some encouraging words?
Thanks<3
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I can personally relate to your predicament, and I'll be happy to give you ANY further support beyond just what I'm about to say here. I am active duty military (AirForce) myself, and I'm being deployed to Iraq in May '07 as well. I won't feed you the insensitive "You knew it was going to happen" remark because nobody fully understands the gravity of being deployed unless you have been or about to be. Your best support, and I know you're not considered a dependent because you're not married, is to talk with his First Sergeant or a Chaplain. It's entirely confidential and they are actually very, very helpful. By the time one becomes a First Sergeant or a Chaplain (Chaplains are typically captains or above) they've already been deployed several times, so they can relate as well. I may be in a different branch than your fiance, but it's the same among all military. Again, if you need anything else or just somebody neutral to talk to, you get in touch with me.
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I can somewhat feel your pain. My younger sister is a reservist and got called over there. She came back after a year with no problems. You are scared and have every right to be, but maybe you need to let your feelings out to the one who means the most to you, your fiance. Let him know that you are scared, that you need him to come home. Being open with him while you are both in a time of need might also give him a chance to break down to you about how scared he is. You mentioned that you are worried about what he might be feeling. Dropping your guard might be what he also needs.
One other person answering your question mentioned the FRG. That helped my family out tremendously. They will let you know what has been going on over there and will give you a very close support group. The unit my sister was in was close by, and you said he is overseas, so it might be a bit harder to contact someone, but it is possible, and could be just what you need.
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Have you considered contacting a therapist? I've never dealt with this issue, and therefore I don't entirely know how the military system works, but there should be some sort of support system offered.
You sound like you're experiencing depression (big surprise, right?). A therapist or counsellor, especially one trained to deal with these sorts of issues, could be a big help. They have the training to know NOT to just say "well you knew it would happen!" and give you ways to cope instead. It can be a relief to talk freely to someone without fear of being judged.
Someone you love is headed into a potentially dangerous situation, so of course you're going to be upset. It's nothing weird, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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First of all i'd like to say that i have so much respect for your husband and that hes a hero to me. And id like to say sorry that you have to go through this its a tough time. My really close cousin is over there, but thats not the same as having a husband over there. And thank you for supporting him that makes things a little easier on him.I looked online theres not really any support groups online except you could look on MSN or yahoo. You could join an FRG(family readiness group), every unit should have its own, your husband who is deploying should have this information if not contact his commanding officers wife, they are usually the ones who head up the FRG.
Talk to a really close friend or relative although they may not know what it is like they should atleast try to understand and help you. Also get out and do things, sitting around the house just makes you think about it even more. Write him letters and talk to him as much as you can. Just think good things like hes going to come back to me or hes not going to get hurt. Who knows they may even end up pulling the troops out before he even has to go over to Iraq. If you think positive things it should help. If you ever need someone to talk to you can leave one in my inbox or email me mandyyx33@hotmail.com
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I'm SO sorry to hear that, stay strong. In the meantime, try this:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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