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does anyone have any insight to this?
I'm a 28/f.I used to always tell my ex that I never wanted to go back to school. This is mainly due to low self esteem as a direct cause from his abusive behavior. I do have a job just not a high paying one. Well we broke up about 6 months ago because he was being a complete jerk. This last couple of months I've been working on my self esteem and I'm even going back to school to be a personal trainer! I have not seen or talked to my ex in all this time. Well recently one of my ex's friends paid me a visit. He was asking all sorts of questions like how the job was going. I told him entuisiastically I was going to school to be a personal trainer and he got this shocked; almost worried look on his face. I have no idea why- but I wouldnt be suprised if my ex is getting him to get info on me. What do you guys think? And why would he look worried?
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27/M here (I'm gonna start opening with my age since there are so many teenagers here). I'm no psychologist, but I have seen a trend in men our age that links with abusive behavior being that some men use abuse to belittle and subordinate women to make themselves feel better and in control of the relationship. Now that you two aren't together anymore (and good for you!) he's probably sending his henchmen out to check on you to make sure that you're not progressing with your life and he's still in a "better place" than you are. The worried look from his friend, I would imagine, comes from the fact that you're taking control of your life, getting into school and progressing well. That's certainly not something an abusive ex wants to hear.
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Good morning,
First of all, I'd like to commend you for having the courage to leave your abusive ex.
It's wonderful that you're paying attention to your needs - going back to school, having a job, and raising your self-esteem...keep at it! (Believe me, if you can leave your ex, you can do anything!) Please, please - do not go back to him.
Your ex realizes that you've improved yourself without his support - not that he probably gave you much in the way of emotional support, anyway - and he doesn't much like it. But who cares?
You deserve a respectful and loving boyfriend and he's not it.
Proudly,
Cavatica
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Nah don't worry. Don't look into too much. So what if he is getting his friend to get info on you. Avoiding contact is better than a confrontational, possibly deleterious one.
Keep up the good work and self-esteem. If he was shocked then so what? Maybe he thought you wouldn't have made it half as far as you already did. But really...who cares what he thinks? Don't let anything he or your ex says stop you from feeling better about yourself or pursuing a career and things you like. Stick to your plan, it sounds good. Forget about those two guys. Hope that helped and good luck.
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