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this girl..
15/f
I have had a bad past with relationships. All these people have lied, used, and hurt me.. so I'm unsure if I want to start a new relationship. It's been about a year or longer since I was in a relationship.
But I really like this girl. But my parents are homophobes.. "I will hurt you, if you're gay" something like that when I was younger .. recently, it's okay with them.. They just don't want to see it. (kissing, etc)
I'm just afraid of what they will think.. growing up always hearing these gay jokes and insults about lesbians.
And I also don't want to rush into a relationship just because I like someone. When do you think you should go out with someone?
I've known this girl for 2 years.. We weren't really close.. until this year.. We have gotten closer and hung out like 3 times in a week and a half. It's just weird.
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I think that one of the reasons why you may have had a bad time with relationships is that you're pretty young to be having them (assuming that by "relationships" you mean the kind where you date people with some romantic ideas in mind). When one is young, one is an easy target for someone who may wish to take advantage. There is a certain emotional maturity that simply comes from being a few years older. At 15, I'd have said you were ready to START dating. Since you've reached that age with a little experience already, hopefully you'll be able to put that to good use.
It's unfortunate that you lack the support of your parents. It means that they will not be able to give the benefit of their wisdom, and that you will be more liable to get hurt. Their intolerance and bigotry is harmful to you. All you can do is tell them, "I'm seeing someone, and since you've made it clear that you don't approve, that's all I intend to say about it." Maybe they'll come to realize that they're not doing you any favors by turning their backs on this important part of your life. In the meantime, your dates don't deserve to be subjected to their "jokes and insults". If your parents say they want to meet any of your future girlfriends, make it clear to them that you expect them to act like adults and to keep such comments to themselves.
You say that you don't want to rush into a relationship just because you like someone. Why the heck not? I can't think of a better reason to initiate a relationship. The question is, though, how does she feel about you? Unfortunately, we live in a world where straight people sometimes feel threatened and otherwise freaked out when asked on a date by someone of the same gender. You should probably make sure she's capable of returning your feelings for her before "making a move", so to speak.
If things do work out, and you reach the point where you feel comfortable doing so, tell her about how you've been hurt in the past. She may be able to offer you some much-needed support; and who knows, maybe you can return the favor.
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well do you like her like her and does she like you i know you said that u had bad relationships but u cant always let that stop you or your get no where and your always be alone but dont rush into something your not ready for and you'll know when your ready and your parents will just have to get off there high horse and love you for you
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If your parents are "OK" with it now, you should talk to them. And tell them how you feel about the situation. They are your parents and they will love you no matter what, it's better to tell them instead of hiding it form them.
And this girl. If she feel she same way about you, and may want to get into a relationship. Tell her you don't want to rush into a relationship, and that you want to take things slow she may feel the same.
--Syd
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its ok to be the way you are. the only thing is that you dont no(or you do and didn't say) if she is one to. like youngrandma said, its ok to experiment if other things (like going out with boy's) isn't working for you. dont tell your parents even though they are excepting this. I know that deep down they would be hurting if they found out there own daughter was a lezbien. i watch alot of lifetime shows that help state wat a parent feels like wen they find this stuff out. well anyway, hope you can do wat your feelings say to!!!
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Not everyone will hurt you in a relationship. Not intentionally anyway. You have to take the risk though if you want a relationship.
At 15 a lot of girls, boys too, are experimenting with their sexuality. A lot of them, while not gay will want to try it and see what its like. It could be that these are the types of people you are finding right now. I know it has to be difficult for you to find someone who is very sincere.
I think in time, I hope so anyway, your parents will be more accepting. It sounds like they have already started accepting it a little.
If you think this girl would like a relationship with you, and you think you want one with her, take a chance. :)
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