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Looking in from the outside
Hey Advicenators =D
A lot of time has passed, and I feel that I have become a socially awkward person. I have trouble trusting people like I did before, or having a deep, and productive conversation with someone for more than 10 minutes... It hurts me because I feel like I'm growing more distant from those closest to me, my friends and even my family. I don't know why, but I feel that this sort of "anti-socialism" stems from prior experiences where I've trusted some people, only to be taken advantage of later. Is there anything I can do to help my situation?
Thanks a million ♥
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It can be hard to trust people after others have broken your trust, but try and remember that not everyone s going to hurt you. and if you dont give people the chance to prove that to you then you are going to miss out on some great relationships in life
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I don't think what you're going through neccessarily sounds like depression...however, this could be a subconscious way for your mind to keep you from getting hurt again, and to avoid any unneccessary pain.
While in your mind this method may seem ideal, it will only hurt more in the long run, and that I can guarantee.
My suggestion is to take 30 minutes to an hour and write a quick list of those who hurt you, just the names and maybe a note or two about them and then flip to the next page. On the next page list everyone whom you know deeply cares for you and would never hurt you on purpose. Then, put the notebook away...
What you are essentially doing there is "boxing" those memories, not forgetting them, just filing them away in a place where they cannot clog your mind but still be easily accessed. And each time something happens and someone has truly hurt you, take out the notebook and pencil their name...and then flip to the section with everyone who cares about you (Hell, someone like your mom or your best friend could easily end up on both lists!) and just glance over it to remind yourself about all those who care about you.
And once you've done that here comes the harder and even cheesier part, Forgive them. You don't neccessarily have to tell them or even be friends again, but you'll feel better if you can find it within yourself to forgive them and move on.
Try to understand that everyone doesn't always do the right thing, and that sometimes when they make a mistake and end up hurting...its not because they don't care, but because it was a mistake...
I hope this helps...
--Star
(If you wanna talk more, please e-mail me at cardenb@countryday.net)
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Sounds like you may have a depression disorder. Have you gone to the Doc. about this?
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