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How can I convince mum he isnt an internet pervert.
Well about seven months ago I started talking to this guy I met online on a message board. We spoke for a while and after a few months we liked eachother more than friends.
I told my mum that I talk to him, so she has known for a few months that we are "friends". But she has such a negative view on internet socialising. She makes silly jokes about him being my "looover" which is ok, but some of her jokes are just not funny and I actually think they are very rude about him. He has always been polite about her.
Now, its been such a long time, and we want to meet. In November he has some thing that he wants to invite me to, just one weekend. Yes I know the safety rules, and I am being very careful. I know *alot* about him, even seen his ID card which poves his identity. He keeps asking to let my mum talk to him so he can show her that he isnt going to harm me. He said he'd give her his phone number, address, parents number, and any other details she could want. If for some reason we dont click personality wise, I'll deal with that.
Yet my mum made an indirect comment last night about "I wouldnt let (my name) travel off to meet someone she's never met!". She said it quite strongly. I told him about that and he told me not to panic because she can still speak to him. But I am just so nervous now, I am panicking and I don't have much time. I find it extrememly hard to talk to my insensetive mother, who (and relatives of mine agree) bosses people, will never admit she is wrong and thinks that everyone on the planet shares her views. I don't know how to talk to her. Parents may want to protect their children, but I am nearly 18 and that will make me legally an adult. And If I do eerything the careful way does she have a right to say" I said no and I'm your mother so there", without hearing me out?
How can I show her that he isnt going to be dangerous? Do you think the suggested ideas will work at all? I need urgent help!
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No offense, but you really DON'T KNOW if he isn't an internet pervert, and he really could be out to rape you, or even kill you. I know you have strong feelings for this person, but your mom has strong feelings for you. She doesn't want to see you get hurt or make a stupid decsion. If you really want to see this guy, you should probably have your mom travel with you. I know that's no fun. But if he IS dangerous, atleast you won't be completely alone, and you'll have your mom for a some sort of safety. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm going to have to take your mum's side. He really could be dangerous, and taking that risk, isn't really something you should do alone.
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I would sit down with your mother and just have a serious talk with her about this. Just be like,"Mother, I know you're worried about me and what can happen, but believe me, I've looked at this guy's identity card and everything so I know pretty much everything about him. He's told me he's fine with you talking with him and he'll even give you his adress, whatever you need to know. Also, if you'd like, I'll make a deal with you. How about you come along with me to this thing, and meet him and see that he's not a bad guy, and then just leave and let me and him enjoy the rest of the night together and hang out and everything?"
That way she'll get to meet him in person herself and see for herself that you're in good hands and you'll be safe and everything. And let her know you have your cellphone on you so you guys can contact eachother at anytime that you need to.
Even though you ARE 18, she does still somewhat have the right to tell you no, I mean it IS your mother after all. She gave birth to you, gave you life, so no matter how old you are she still has some say in whatever happens to you. Well, no a SAY, more of an opinion. But as long as you're living in her house, I say her rules go, because living with her shows you're not a independent full on adult yet ( don't take that as an insult you know what I mean ), so you're still dependant on her for living purposes and everything, so her opinion on things still does count.
But even so, she should still at least listen to you and hear you out, so hopefully the suggestion I made about her tagging along for a few minutes to meet him herself and everything and get the offical stamp of approval might help, or if you two can come up with some other form of agreement.
I hope I helped.
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