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What I Just Found Out
I have this friend...lets call the friend C. C is one of my bestest friends. C's so fun and lively and gosh, you can't tell that theres anything bad going on in C's life. C's one of the two friends that I have that are always cheerful and happy. Well, yesterday when we were being idiots and dancing in the hallways b/w class(don't ask) I saw that C cut itself on the top of C's hand and was concealing it with C's sleeves. I can understand why since C hates C's little brother, C's mom and dad are divorced, C's not all that rich, and C hates his stepdad. The thing is that I cut too... and do not lecture me on that fact. I haven't told ANYONE at my school that I cut and I want to keep it that way. I want C to stop and not cut though. I know it sounds weird and hypocritical but I wnat C to stop. I know it's a dangerous thing to do and can turn fatal at any given time. That's why I wnat C to stop. Isn't it weird that while I do the same thing I don't want C to do it? What is wrong with me for thinking that way? Why am I thinking that way? What are things I can do or say to stop C from cutting? If I try to talk about it, he ignores me and stops the conversation say he doesn't want to talk about it.
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I don't cut (*Lectures you*), so if you are just doing this to get rid of the world aound you, I suggest getting a hobby, and do it with C. Maybe you could do yoga, meditation, writing, painting, check your local listings to find out more. You really need to confront C. Tell him you want to help, and don't let him get away! Prove your point, that cutting can be fatal, tell him that you really care and you want him to stop. Look him in the eye.
He may be mad at you for a spell, if he (or she for that matter), sulks off in a corner, or is mean to you. Still, hold your ground. You are a mighty rock in the riverbead, stand your ground. You care for him, so if he (she) supa cares for you, he will see your point. If you are starting to get really scared, I totally advise telling an adult. About YOU TOO. It is a long road to the path of recovery, but once your're there, sitting happily, you'll look back, and say, "Gosh, how could we have ever BEEN back there!"
You will get to your golden city, along with C, though time and effort, trial and tragity (sp), happy and whole. I have faith in you.
Best of wishes and luck,
Aneis
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Imagine you are C. What if C found out that you cut yourself? How would you feel. If you don't want C to know(or anyone else) then don't do it anymore. Don't assume C cuts himself/ herself. Ask him/her if they do, then tell them how you feel about it, and if you want then tell them you do it too, but if they stop then you would stop with them.
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Okay, I know you want to keep your sercet but if you really want to help C you have to tell them. Tell C that you will stop if they do. Let them know that you are there for them. Everytime they cut themselves makew sure they tell you, then cut yourself. When you cut yourself let them know, that way if you hurt yourself, you are hurting them also, trust me this works. Hope for the best!
~*Brianna*~
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It is wrong for you to want him to stop - and you not to - so try making a pact with him to both stop cutting- it'd be benifical for everyone.
As a reformed cutter - i wont lie to you its wicked hard - but can be done - i wish you the best of luck and im here if you need someone to talk to
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Well, the reason you want C to stop, is because you care more about them.. then yourself. Its good that you wanna help C, but why not help yourself too? I once tried to cut myself, & it hurt like hell. So, why do you do it? Its not like it feels good. Well, I mean you probaly do it.. because of your home life or school or something, I don't know you well enough, to go into that. But, what I do know, is you should help yourself, & C. Cutting yourself, is no fun.
Talk to your parents, talk to C. & get some helpp. & I gurantee you'll be even happier (:
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One thing you could do is go to a counseler, for you and for c, but you probably dont want to do that. If I were you I would find a time where I could be with him alone and start a serious conversation. Try to pull some info out of him before you confront him about cutting; you dont want to say the wrong things. If you confront him about it and he starts to walk away or something, say "I know you dont want to talk about it, but we have somethings in common and I really would like us to help each other." You might not want to say "I really want to help you" because he might get the idea that you feel really bad for him or something. But if I were you,I would try to steer the conversation to helping each other. That way, you get to results from one.
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