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Friends plus benefits?
K so there is this guy at my school lets call him "Q" Well Q isn't exactly the nicest guy, but he isn't THAT bad. But alot of people hate him(most actually) But he has a crush on me, I dont want to like be his girlfriend or anything, but I dont know, he seems like he's the kinda guy to just have fun with. Is this slutty? I've never never done something like this before or felt like this. Usually if I wanna fool around with a guy I would also want to be his girlfriend. Plus Q is also my best friends x-boyfriend. She is totally over him, but I dont know. Please help me on what to do!
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I would never want to be a friends with benefits. Because what if more feelings get involved, and you want to be his girlfriend later on, and the feelings are not mutual? Too many feelings and drama get involved whenever people become friends with benefits.
Also, even though your best friend is totally over him, she still might not be okay with the fact that her best friend is dating her ex. I know I probably wouldn't like it still if someone was going after one of my exes.
But if you do plan on hooking up with him or anything, talk to him about everything, and how much does he actually like you? Because he might actually NOT want you to just be a fling thing, but an actual girlfriend, and I'm sure his feelings would be hurt once he found out the feelings were not mutual.
I would just find out all the details, and then make a decision of what you want to do. But to answer your other question, I do find friends with benefits somewhat sluttish, and I wouldn't do it if I were you.
But, I hope I helped.
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You should consider that if a guy has a crush on you, generally he'd want a relationship, not a couple of screws on the side. Personally, I'd say yes, it's rather slutty, but hey don't take my opinion as the be all and end all of your decision. Life is about choices, and don't let other people make them for you.
However, maybe you should tell him how you feel and gauge his reaction. If he's okay with the "bed buddy" idea, then by all means have fun, but if he isn't, I wouldn't suggest using his crush as leverage to get what you want.
Considering what you said, maybe you DO want to be his girlfriend. After all, you want to fool around with him, right? And, you DID say that when you want to fool around you want to be their girlfriend... I might have interpreted that wrong.
Another thing which happens alot and you raised in your question was best friends exes. If you really want to date a friends ex, then nothing should be stopping you. If you do anything however, it should be heeding your friends advice. After all, maybe the person didn't feel the same way about your friend that they will feel about you.
If you need any more information or have a deeper question, feel free to ask me.
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