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Two men, one boyfriend, one old friend, which one?
Right im 22, i have this boyfriend (X) and he is really nice and i do like him but he is three years younger than me, and an old friend of mine (Y), who is older than me, told me a couple of weeks ago that he really likes me and he has just been afraid to ask me out.
So Y asked me to go out on a date with him, i said yes but im still with X.
Now the huge problem is that X told me hes in love with me today and i cannot dump him because im going to hurt him so badly!
So i was going to go on the date with Y and see how it goes (Y knows about X btw) and if i really like Y, tell X im sorry but its not working.
What im asking really is, is this a good idea or should i just finish with X now and save any hurt?
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Sorry, but this made me laugh. You know, you wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't been willing to go on a date while you still had a boyfriend. You may not feel this is fair, but my first thought was that you were trying to be a player, and now you are in a bad situation.
Your boyfriend is really nice and you like him, but why is his being 3 years younger than you a BAD thing? If you like each other, isn't that enough?
So "Y knows about X". Think of the message you are giving Y, he must be thinking that things must not be all that good between you and X if you are willing to go on a date with him. And does X know about Y? I'm guessing not. What would he say if he knew? Yet, you said yes to the date with Y with apparantly little/no concern for X's feelings at that moment, and it strikes me odd that now you are worried about X's feelings since he just told you he loved you.
The big question is, do you love X? And I mean REALLY love him, not just being afraid of him thinking badly of you. If you do, then why are you going on a date with Y? If you don't love X, then the relationship sounds more like a convenience or that it shouldn't still be at the BF/GF level anymore. If that is the case, then you simply have to decide what you want...and you may have to break off the relationship with X. But please, whatever you do, don't be another person who juggles people while still in a relationship. I'd say either drop the BF or simply...don't...date...other...guys.
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You said that the reason you don't want to date X is because it will hurt him, but you don't mind telling him it won't work out, IF you decide it goes well with Y. Sounds like you are already hurting and using X, by cheating on him and lying to him, and keeping him around in case the other guy does not work out. Does that sound nice? You either want to be with him or you don't. It should not depend on a secret date going well or not. My advice is to be honest with everyone, including yourself.
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well, think about it like this: would it be considered cheating if you went on this "date" with Y? i mean, you said X was your boyfriend, so if you really did care about him, you would just tell him how you felt. at least then he'd get a heads-up beforehand, and it wouldn't seem like you were breaking up with him because you suddenly started liking another guy.
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I think you really need to just finish it with X so he doesn't get more hurt...especially since you have some feelings for Y no relationships healithy if its not 100 percent ...i think itd save your friendship if yuou do it now instead of later..and plus he'll think its cuz you dont like him not because you like someone else..so it all works out.. hope i helped!
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How long have you been dating X? Sounds as if the age difference is the biggest problem for you it really shouldn't be unless it is causing some sort of problem for you.
If you just don't think it is going to work, I'd break it off with X before going out with Y. Unless you live in a real big city, he will find out about it and will be hurt even more. He will be hurt either way, there is no way around that. It just won't seem to him like he was stabbed in the back if you do it beforehand.
I guess my vote goes for telling X and breaking it off. :)
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