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favored sister
my sister has a horse, which is really expensive. the up front price of the horse was over 20,000 dollars. then there's room and board, horse shoes, food, vet (each appointment is $800), and horse shows which are easilly over $1000 dollars each. my dad says that the horse costs about 10,000 dollars per year. did i mention that this is her SECOND horse? i don't horseback ride, i play tennis instead which is not expensive at all!!! but my sister gets just a little less for christmas than i do...i don't think this is fair at all. like not to sound spoiled, but my parents usually spend about $1000 dollars on me at christmas and just a hundred dollars less on her....i just think i'm getting the worst deal ever for me because she gets soo much more money spent on her than i do, i don't think i should be punished for not participating in a way overpriced sport!! you know? and for christmas i'm a new bedspread and shelves and stuff...but i think that's pretty much all i'm going to get because it kind of adds up. the bed spread was 885 dollars because i had it custom made. i just really want stuff that i can actually use for christmas and i don't know how to ask my mom without sounding like a brat. but i just don't see how this is fair at all!! how can i tell my parents this?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You seem to enjoy tennis, your sister seems to enjoy horseback riding, your parents *have* to spend money in order to take care of the horse because its a living, breathing creature, and yet...they still spend a substantial amount on you.
I'm not quite ready to say that you, perhaps, are the unfavored sister. Any gift you receive should not be about monetary value, but about the thought behind the gift. I understand where you're coming from, but I also think that you'll have less of a problem if you stop tallying every monetary inequally between yourself and your sister.
Instead of worrying about her getting or having more than you, look at all the things you have...all the things that you have been blessed with and be grateful, because (though I'm sure you know this) there are some kids who can only dream about having what it is that you and your sister have.
(Wanna talk more? E-mail me at cocoabee_swirl88@yahoomail.com)
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How can you tell your parents this AND not sound like a spoiled brat?
You can't.
Your sister chooses to ride. Your parents choose to pay for it.
You choose to not to ride. You choose to play tennis. Your parents choose to pay for it.
Sounds fair to me.
What it isn't is the same. It's different. You are different people with different interests and your parents spend different amounts of money on those interests.
Face it, although it might seem unfair to you, the amount of money they spend on their children's activities is their choice, and nowhere is it written that it must be equal. Get serious about an expensive hobby like, I dinno, sky diving, and I'm sure your parents would be just as financially supportive of you as they are of your sister. But don't except them to just hand over cash to you or shower you with gifts because you aren't costing them $10,000 a year. Maybe that would be 'fair', but it isn't going to happen.
Is there is something else that is more constructive that you would like then cash and gifts? You could certainly use the example of the amount of money they spend on the horse if you where asking them to pay so you could go study in Italy for a year, or if you wanted a particularly good camera to feed your photography habit, whatever it is that you are passionate about and requires money.
Besides, Christmas isn't really about how much money they spend on their children. Trying to fight this battle over Christmas gifts will at best make you look ungrateful and at worst, make you look selfish and greedy. You've got a solid point in this. Even though life doesn't need to be fair at some point your parents will respond to fact that they haven't funded you two equitably but save this argument for a time when something bigger then a few pretty presents are on the line.
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